Messenger Newsletter Content May 2005

May Services

May 1 Reflections on Social Justice - A Conversational Styled Sermon regarding Social Justice Ministry and Our Responsibility to it. Service Leader Bishop John Selders, Jr. Pastor, Amistad UCC and Presider of The Inter Denominational Conference of Liberation Congregations and Ministries

May 8, 2005 - Special Music Sunday & Mother's Day Celebration - Service Leader: Rev. Cooley - In addition to the spectacular music, you will hear testimonials from various members of the congregation about what motherhood means to them from a multitude of perspectives.

May 15, 2005 - Celebrating the Ministry of The Rev. Dr. Terasa Cooley - A time to remember, to honor, and to say farewell to Terasa. Following the service there will be a reception in Fellowship Hall.

May 22, 2005 The Seven Principles and Dr. Seuss - This is the eagerly anticipated not to be missed service designed and led by the High School Youth Group.

May 29, 2005 - A Service for Memorial Day

Connections May
by the Rev. Terasa Cooley

By now I hope you’ve heard the news about where I’m going and what I’ll be doing: assuming the job of District Executive of the Massachusetts Bay District and moving to the Boston region.

This job brings together many of the elements I was looking for: teaching, program design, supporting and providing resources for ministers and congregations, and promoting Unitarian Universalism. I am excited by the position and its potential, and I go there (mostly) confident because of what I’ve been able to learn from you.

Ministers come to a congregation thinking it’s our job to teach you things – things about yourself, about doing religious work, about God – but mostly what happens in a good congregation (which you are) is that we learn, and then pass it around.

So I want to pass around a few things I’ve learned from you in our time together:

I’ve learned about pacing: in the few hours I’ve spent in Boston in the last few weeks interviewing, I’ve already been reacquainted with the frenetic pace of life there. But here, well they don’t call it the “land of steady habits” for nothing. It’s certainly not that you don’t work hard and long and devotedly. But what you show is a measuredness and help me realize that nothing is too important to lose your head (or your heart or soul) over.
I’ve learned about high performance vs. perfectionism: we certainly have our share of perfectionists in this congregation, but what has been so remarkable to me is your willingness to put your abundant talents forward humbly and to let yourself be of use. Reaching a final point of achievement doesn’t seem to be the issue, but working hard toward a larger goal always has, and I’ve learned everything from small techniques to larger strategies from this talented group.
I’ve learned that you are loving: you’ve offered me and many others in this congregation support and encouragement and sympathy and joy in a way I’ve never received from a congregation before. Your support for me and my decision to leave, even when you may have not wanted that to happen is a wonderful gift of love.

Of course there are still things I wish I could teach you, but no longer have the time (or haven’t been able to yet learn myself!) The most important thing I hope you learn in the time to come is to trust yourselves and celebrate yourselves for the extraordinary gift you are to one another, to the ministers who serve you, and to the community that surrounds you.

Thank you for your many, many gifts to me.
All my love, Terasa

Musings May
by the Rev. Arline Conan Sutherland

How do you fill the shoes of someone like Terasa? You can’t; or rather, I literally can’t. A few months ago Terasa gave me a pair of slippers that were too small for her. They are so too big for me that I can’t lift my feet without their falling off. I can only shuffle along. A vivid reminder that I can’t fill her shoes. It won’t work.

Terasa’s contributions to this congregation are unmatchable and her shoes too big for me to fill. As she leaves, we realize how well we are situated to take the next steps in our pathway to growth. As she leaves, we appreciate how well she, working with you, has set policies in place that will facilitate growth.These transitional months give us the opportunity to reflect on the past, to appreciate the gifts Terasa has brought, and to celebrate her ministry even as we grieve her departure. As we do, the health and vitality of the congregation becomes ever more apparent.

There is much to build upon.I am not very good at saying “Good-bye.” After so much practice you would think I would have developed some graceful techniques, but I haven’t. It invariably breaks my heart. It sometimes seemed to me that parenting was one long process of saying “Good-bye.” The first time I left them with a sitter, the day I left our youngest at pre-school and he happily ran off. Seeing them off to college. Waving good-bye as they drove off with their wives. I wept each time, but some of my tears were because I was so proud of them - because I was fairly certain that they had the wherewithal to take those steps. Farewells hold within them grief for what is past and will not come again and they include new possibilities for what lies ahead. Saying good-bye is rarely even that simple. There are layers upon layers of conflicting emotions and insights. All the while I wept on JJ’s first day of preschool I was at the same time ecstatic at having some time to myself. And that made me feel guilty, and…I was once told that unless one’s heart breaks, it can’t open up.

So, let us be gentle with ourselves as we say our “Good-byes” and our “Hellos.” Let us open our hearts to what is ahead.God speed Terasa. Thank-you for all you have given us. May your future be bright! Know that we are stronger for having known you.

Blessings, Arline

May Brings Many Musical Moments

May 1. Our children are working hard learning some pieces to perform with the Children’ Choir Festival, an annual event of the Connecticut Chapter of the American Choral Directors’ Association. Singers are Ginger Furey, Margaret Czepiel, Hannah Phillips, Marissa Elish, Todd Slater and Todd’s friend Michael Doyle.

The concert for that event (open to the public, $5, children free) will be at the New Britain High School on Saturday, May 14 at 3 pm. Our group will give us a preview at our May 1 service while the adult choir is at the Fern Street church singing the first of our two joint Music Sundays.

May 8. Music Sunday at the Meeting House. The two UU choirs will jointly present intriguing vocal and organ pieces on the chant “Veni Creator Spiritus” and a pair of double-choir works and other choral music from Orlando Gibbons to Gwyneth Walker. Mothers’ Day essays will complement the music.

May 15. Tom Schmutzler has composed a pair of anthems to poetry selected by Reverend Terasa Cooley. “What is Divinity” sets Wallace Steven’s poem for Terasa’s installation, and “Let Thy Love Play Upon My Voice” uses the words of Rabindranath Tagore for this farewell service.

May 22. The very talented UU Youth Group is constructing a service that showcases an original composition by Wil Huntington. The choir will lead that unique congregational song and a compatible anthem.

May 29. To be announced.
Mattie Banzhaf

Food Pantry Growing

$1386.75 for the Horace Bushnell Children’s Food Pantry was collected during the March 27 service at the Unitarian Society of Hartford. Matching contributions by the Alan Feinstein $1 Million Fund will make that amount worth $2773.50! The Food Pantry was established 33 years ago, in 1972, to provide food for needy children (a project dear to the heart of the late Steve Shepard, who worked tirelessly on this activity). It has been recently expanded to include senior citizens and the disabled. Bringing canned goods to the Meeting House on Sunday has become a well-established habit for many in the Unitarian Society of Hartford. Financial contributions are particularly appreciated; they allow the Food Pantry to buy items at wholesale and discount prices. At present, the Children’s Food Pantry can provide food to about 150 needy adults and 350 needy children a week. Families receive a two-day supply of groceries, based on family size. The stated goal of the organization is to “provide food for 300 to 400 needy adults and 700 to 800 children a week.” Unfortunately, the number of needy families in Hartford continues to increase. The Pantry operates entirely on donations from churches, companies, foundations and individuals. The Unitarian Society of Hartford is among its outstanding supporters.

Dinner and Movie Nights End Adult Program Spring Term Offerings

The Adult Programs Spring term will end with two of the popular Friday Dinners and Movies. You may register on Sundays in Fellowship Hall during coffee hour or by calling the office at 233-9897.

Friday Dinner and Movie,May 13, 5:30-10:30 pm. After the catered candlelight dinner, dessert, and coffee, the featured movie will be “Capturing the Friedmans.” One review says: “Jarecki lets the audience decipher the story through the Friedmans themselves, specifically via incredible and personal home movies.

”Friday Dinner and Movie, June 10, 5:30-10:30 pm. The movie finale for the 2004-2005 season will be “My Architect: A Son’s Journey.” “What emerges is a vital portrait: Not just Kahn and his work, which we see lavishly and lovingly photographed, but a heart-breaking illustration of the importance of the father-child relationship,” says one reviewer. So come and enjoy conversation, dinner, movie on the big screen, and the optional discussion afterwards.

Good News at USH for All You Gentle Readers The sale of Gently Used Books, begun last month, will continue in Fellowship Hall during coffee hour each Sunday. Donations of fiction, non-fiction, hard cover and soft cover books can be placed in a special basket to the left as you enter Fellowship Hall. Questions? Contact Carol Davidson, 233-8012 orcjkdavid@snet.net. Attention: Board

Of Directors, Council

Chairs, Committee Heads,Task Force Leaders and Anyone else who wants to “get your two cents in” to the monthly Meetinghouse Messenger. It’s not always easy to be thinking a month ahead, but if you want to get your information published for the USH members to read, that’s exactly what you have to do. The 15th of the month is always the deadline for the month ahead (For example, this notice is being written on April 15 so that it will appear in the May Messenger.). Might I suggest that each group interested in getting news published should appoint a public relations person to make sure deadlines aren’t missed and important stories are not ignored. The preferred method for submitting articles is as an attachment to an email (which means that it does not have to be re-typed). Email newsletter articles and attachments should be sent to messengernews@ushartford.com However, regular email messages are also acceptable (attachments can be troublesome…) and, if your computer is down or you are not a computer person, there is a newsletter mailbox in the USH office. If you choose to use the newsletter box, please give me a call (243-2425) to alert me, so I don’t miss it. Think ahead; it’ll pay off!

Kayla Costenoble, Newsletter Editor

Search Committee Searches for Members

       Sunday, May 15 is the deadline for members of the Unitarian Society of Hartford to submit applications to be on the Search Committee to call the next minister to the congregation. The Nominating Committee appointed by the Board of Directors is look-ing for seven people who represent a variety of USH constituencies who are willing and interested in being part of this meaningful process for about one year.      All candidates for the Search Committee must complete a Search Committee application form. These forms are available in hard copy in the church office, at the lobby welcome table or through the USH web site www.ushartford.com. Completed applications can (1) be sent to the Nominating Committee via email to Chair Bart Bracken (see below), (2) placed in the USH office mailbox for the Nominating Committee, or (3) mailed to the Society, attention Nominating Committee.

A slate of Search Committee nominees will be presented to the membership at the Annual Meeting on Sunday, June 5 for approval.       The UUA has posted the “Ministerial Selection Handbook” on the web; this details the entire search process. This handbook is available through a hyperlink on our USH web site. A general timetable for the search process is on pages eight and nine of the Handbook.     Members of the Nominating Committee are available to answer any questions. Their names and contact information are listed below.   Bart Bracken, Chair                                         brackenb@comcast.net
Ken Bartschi                          233-0165           kbartschi@hsklawfirm.com
Marye Gail Harrison             242-4716            maryegailh@comcast.net
Tom Kemble                         633-450              t-kemble@erols.com
Nancy Mandly                      233-5091            mandly@courant.com

USH Can Send Six Delegates to GA in June

General Assembly (GA) 2005, a meeting of UU congregations from all over the country, will take place from June 23 to June 27 in Fort Worth, Texas. The Unitarian Society of Hartford is entitled to send six “official” delegates this year. To help with expenses, a subsidy of $200 per person for each of three people is available. Family Values will be the theme of this year’s gathering, emphasizing worship, education, social action celebrating all kinds of families, and strengthening the links between church and home. Delegates who have represented our congregation at GA’s in the past praise its ability to inspire and energize. For more information, visit the UUA web site: www.uua.org/ga/and/or contact Brian Mullen at the Society office at bmullen@ushartford.com.

Display Task Force Plans Include Fresh Painting And Lighting Downstairs Fresh paint, new colors, acoustic panels, improved lighting, movable displays for notices—these are some of the changes you can expect to start noticing soon in Fellowship Hall and in the lower lobby. The new look for downstairs, proposed by the Display Task Force, was recently approved by the Building and Grounds Sub-Council. There will be an initial “sneak preview” to show colors and lighting. In Fellowship Hall, one section of wall, the door, new wood baseboards and trim will be painted in attractive, complementary colors. The wall and panel colors have been chosen to create a blended look. In addition, a new temporary light fixture mounted on the wall will help light the new effect. We will then check “the look,” make any necessary color adjustments and paint the entire Fellowship Hall, the back lobby and the lavatory doors. But that’s not all! To serve as a model of how ALL of Fellowship Hall will look in two to three years, B&G will tackle another wall section. The wall will be painted and fabric-covered acoustic panels will be mounted along with a full-width lighting fixture at the top, similar to those in the ambulatory. The panels will be used to display artwork as well as to soften sound. This second wall will also be a “sneak preview” of what is to come when the budget allows for the entire room to have the panels and permanent light fixtures installed. But that’s not all! Come fall, to complement the new look, new ways to display program materials and information will be in place—aiming at creating a fresh, timely look. The displays will be easily moved and can be stored when needed, such as when Fellowship Hall is used for receptions. All Councils have received information on display options available to replace the current wall displays in the lobby and in Fellowship Hall. Councils have been asked to provide feedback on which materials they would like to use. Along with this new arrangement will come a centralized sign-up area in Fellowship Hall where sign-ups and registrations for all events will take place. Margaret Leicach, Chair of the Council Within, will be organizing a new system to manage this. A change already in place is the new arrangement for coffee hour. Moving the table closer to the center of the room allows for a more flexible use of space for display materials and program areas around the perimeter. Having both the coffee and juice service at one large table is being done on a trial basis. Changes can be made if glitches or traffic problems occur.
Anne Bailey

A UU Artist on Art

Artist Pat McEvoy of the UU congregation in Saratoga Springs, New York, finds magic in everyday objects and scenes. She says, “It’s as if we always have a painting before us, whether on the kitchen counter, a table where friends gather, or outside the dining room window. We only have to take the time to see it!”

Women’s Alliance and Our David’s Den -- Together Once Again At their annual meeting last month, members of the Women’s Alliance voted to contribute $750 to buy a sofa and love seat for David’s Den--to help that room sport a new look--now that the archival files have been moved to the library. More than 20 years ago, the Alliance spearheaded a project to create a parlor in what is now the minister’s study and contributed most of its furnishings. The parlor then moved to the room next to the library, but its furniture has come and gone as use of the room changed. The Display Task Force has decided that the principal use for David’s Den will be as an adult parlor for small meetings and social events. The sofa and love seat will be the first purchase. An inside source (Anne Bailey’s daughter at BKM) has made it possible for us to buy high quality pieces at a reduced rate. Other items to be added as funds are available include four side chairs (like the new ones in the sanctuary), small tables, a folding screen and acoustical wall-mounted panels to display art work. To facilitate the timely purchase of the four side chairs, it has been suggested that individuals or small groups might like to “share a chair” by contributing to their purchase (they cost $141 each). Please contact Anne Bailey if interested.

OTHER ALLIANCE EVENTS On Thursday, May 5, the Alliance will hold an R&R luncheon at noon. All USH women are invited to join us for a light meal and conversation. Reservations are not necessary; just stop by and relax for an hour. Or come at 10:30 am and take part in a bi-monthly cabinet meeting where we will be discussing plans for next year. On Sunday, May 8, we will hold a bake sale after the special music service. Profits from the sale will help support organizations that provide services to women, such as Interval House and My Sister’s Place. On Thursday, May 19, women in the Society are invited to join Alliance members on their visit to the Connecticut Historical Society’s current exhibit, “Are We Clean Yet?”, a lighthearted look at the pursuit of cleanliness over two centuries. We will car-pool from the Meeting House at 10:30 am and, after the exhibit, enjoy a Dutch treat lunch at the Pond House in Elizabeth Park. Please sign up on the bulletin board in the lower lobby so reservations can be made.

Louise Schmoll

RE Kids and OWL OWL (Our Whole Lives), the UU sexuality program, has many things to offer. Among them is instruction that one couldn’t get elsewhere and discussions that teens wouldn’t feel comfortable having in school. It also provides a safe and secure setting where everyone is surrounded by old friends and people they trust. Andy Obelnicki and Laurie Kelliher have done a superb job of guiding and facilitating discussions. They make conversations about uncomfortable topics fun and much easier to bear. We learned a great deal about sexuality—a topic that is important but often overlooked. We thank Andy and Laurie for taking on our sometimes-difficult age group and a topic that would make many other parents cringe.

Olivia Men and Lucia Rubin-Cadrain

Health Care Expert to Speak at USH Meeting

Gretchen Vivier, Director of the Health Care for All Coalition, will speak at a special meeting at the Meeting House on Sunday, May 22 at 12:15 pm.   Are you interested in the results of the ICEJ (Interfaith Coalition for Equity and Justice) survey that many of us participated in? Do you think our health care system needs fixing? Do you believe that having uninsured folks in our midst is a justice issue? Do you believe that lowering prescription drug costs will curtail research? Do you think there are health consequences of social separation and sprawl in our state? Do you want to know about asthma incidence in our region?   We will also discuss the findings presented at the ICEJ Health Care Summit in April. In addition, Ms. Vivier will inform us of the status of health care bills in the Legislature.   The health care meeting is sponsored by the Information and Advocacy Sub-Council of the Council on Social Justice. This Sub-Council is committed to balanced bipartisan reporting of important issues and is working with the CT Coalition for Peace and Justice, the CT Coalition for Environmental Justice, and the CT Network Against the Death Penalty.   If you wonder about any of the above health care issues, please come to the library on May 22 following the Sunday service. A light lunch will be served. For information, contact me at 633-4030 or by email -

Joan Kemble

New Game Shows How Cocaine Affects Society

Mike Winterfield, Chair of the Social Justice Council, and I were among the 15 persons who took part in March in a new house party game developed by Lorenzo Jones, Executive Director of United Connecticut Action for Neighborhoods (UCAN) and also an instructor at the UConn School of Social Work. The circle game demonstrates the drain on social capital for a community affected by unequal drug laws. Currently, Federal sentencing guidelines for possession of crack cocaine and powder cocaine are considered unjust. Lorenzo Jones and Robert Brooks, Executive Director of ABWF (A Better Way Foundation), have been visiting Peterís Retreat and discussing proposed legislation to (1) equate sentencing of the two and (2) provide treatment for addicts. A majority of my housemates at Peter's Retreat (a Center City Churches residential program for persons with HIV) were incarcerated by our State, not because they committed heinous crimes but only because they were non-violent crack cocaine addicts. The game involves role-playing and includes a policeman, a warden, children and drug addicts. Baking soda in a baggie is cocaine; money is M&Ms in a cup. For me, the game dramatized the systemic evil of treating addicts as criminals instead of sick persons.

Alani Willett

President’ s Message Embracing Transitions

This has been an incredible time lately, for us as a congregation, for me personally and I know for many of you as well. It seems as if transitions are all around us. I know that my life has been filled with them. Most of them have not been of my own choice, but rather presented to me as life has a way of doing. Some of them, like the loss of my grandmother, have been extraordinarily difficult and sad; others, like changes in career, have been very scary. Here in the life of our congregation we have been dealing with the transition of Terasa’s departure for several months now. This has left many of us with seemingly contradictory emotions. We are sad at her departure and yet we are excited and confident about our future. We reflect on the times that we have shared with Terasa, and we are grateful that Arline will be with us over the next year.

Transitions are inevitable. Yet I don’t think that most of us have ever been taught how to navigate through them. We might hear someone say “just pull up your boot straps” or “things could be worse,” but that is not necessarily always the best advice.What if we had been taught to surrender to the inevitability of change and that mixed emotions and contradictory feelings cannot be avoided? What if our role models and our faith encouraged us to be vulnerable enough to ask for help and to share with those who understand? It is when we are able to embrace and accept the fact that we are in the inevitability of transition that grace can enter into our lives and we can find the bud of new growth that can come from transition. And so, Terasa, we wish you all of the very best and we thank you for all that you have given us. May your days ahead be filled with joy, fulfillment and continued growth and love.

Many blessings,
Rebecca Judd

Current Calendar

Let us know of any comments, errors and corrections - thanks (revised 2/26/05)