USH-Enews January 14, 2010 Print Only Edition

USH-Enews is a weekly email newsletter produced for members and friends of the Unitarian Society of Hartford. The USH web address is: http://www.ushartford.com/ Check at the end of this USH-Enews for information on submissions, subscriptions and escape from the mailing list or to find past issues of the weekly USH-Enews click here.

Office hours: Rev. Jamestone: Phone: 860 233-9897; Email: RevBJ@USHartford.com - Rev. BJ office hours by appointment.

Worshipping Together Since 1830

Today we are challenged to be dissatisfied, dissatisfied until everyone can have food for their bodies, education for their minds, and dignity and freedom for their spirit. - Martin Luther King

Sunday 17 January Martin Luther King Sunday - Mind and Feet in Gear - Our speaker, Pastor James Lane of the Northend Church of Christ has been a leading activist and healer in work related to violence, especially youth violence and its impacts on individuals and communities. He is the immediate past president of the Interdenominational Ministerial Alliance of Greater Hartford (IMA), and is currently involved with an ongoing collaboration with Greater Hartford Interfaith Coalition for Equity and Justice (GHICEJ) known as Just Peace. Pastor Lane also serves as pastoral counselor and community liaison officer for Alcohol and Drug Recovery Centers, Inc. (ADRC) in Hartford.

The good neighbor offering will be for the Greater Hartford Interfaith Coalition for Equity and Justice - Much More Detail on What GHICEJ Does

REflections on Children's Programming

Religious Education Classes

Spirit Play: Seven Spools of Thread
Second & Third Grade: Heart Talk: Needs & Requests
Fourth & Fifth Grade: Toolbox of Faith:Humor
Sixth, Seventh & Eighth Grade: Christianity
Youth Group Activities: Soup Making

Gail M. Syring DRE

Things You Could Do for USH

SJ Folks Are Always Looking For Tutors, How About You?

From the Editor: Suggestions for Contributors.

This Week’s Feature Articles

Children Love, and Therefore They Grieve
Thanks from Sue Huntington
Highlights of January Board Meeting
Time for Great Decisions
SGM for Spring
I Am a Man Part I
Fabulous Music Event Planned
GHICEJ Activities Noted
Webmaster Reports Communications Restored

“Children love, and therefore they grieve.” - ARCH National Resource Center

As humans it is our instinct to want to protect the people we love from harm, particularly if they are vulnerable in some way. We especially wish to protect our children, and this well-intended effort can often take the form of denying the experiences that are the most painful, even to ourselves.

Grief, whether it is the result of the loss of a loved one or a personal disappointment, can be a profound and healthy experience if expressed in a safe and loving environment. Rather than encouraging our children to see us as infallible adults who suffer no losses, let our families and communities come together as multigenerational units and grieve together.

Resources like the ARCH National Resource Center http://www.archrespite.org/archfs21.htm offer valuable insight into the grieving process and how best to support ourselves and our children. Listening to each other, offering space and permission for feeling sadness or anger and providing creative outlets for our emotions can all be powerful ways to offer support. Being present in our faith community can also provide healing, even in silence.

It is our capacity to love that leaves us vulnerable to loss, and that same love gives us the strength to heal. - Gail M. Syring

Highlights from the January Board of Directors Meeting - At our meeting on January 12, the Board addresses the following issues:

- The next congregational conversation will be held later this spring (not in late January/February as previously planned) because our leaders are developing the Stewardship Campaign, creating the budget for 2010-11, and assessing our overall governance, financial, staffing, and programmatic needs. As the work on these topics progresses, we will determine when and how next steps should occur. In the meantime, we will, of course, continue to provide you with all the financial, programmatic, and staffing details on our website, in the office, and in the USH-Enews.

- We will develop and publish a policy describing the process we follow when closing USH for Sunday services due to inclement weather.

- The community of people who “belong to USH” (members, friends, supporters, etc.) is vastly larger than the number of USH members we report to the UUA. As appropriate, we will report the relevant numbers in USH communications. Our circle of care continues to grow and evolve in vital ways.

- As required by our Constitution, we will appoint an Audit Committee which will assess our financial controls and systems and present their findings at our annual meeting in May.

- Due to the incredible generosity of our caring community, we have eliminated the previously budgeted unpaid leave for our staff and raised money to enhance our Music program. Through the first half of the year, expenses and pledges are tracking essentially on plan.

As always, please let any of us on the Board if you have any questions or comments about life at USH. We are here because of, and for, you. - Carolyn Cartland

Time for Great Decisions - Members and friends of the Unitarian Society of Hartford have been making Great Decisions every winter for more than 30 years now.

This popular, long-running series offers participants a chance to engage in eight weeks of lively, thoughtful discussions of foreign affairs, based on readings provided by the Foreign Policy Association. Great Decisions will begin on Sunday February 7 from 9 AM to 10:15 AM and will continue at that time for the eight Sundays in February and March.

Topics for 2010 include Special Envoys, Preventing Genocide, Global Crime, U.S.-China Security Relations, Global Financial Crisis, Russia and its Neighbors, The Persian Gulf, and Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution.

Interested Great Decisions makers can sign up for the series and purchase the book ($20) in Fellowship Hall beginning Sunday, January 17. USH member Earl Costenoble will facilitate. For further information, contact Kayla Costenoble at 860-243-2425 or email noblearl(at symbol)comcast.net.

Small Group Ministry for Spring of 2010 - Registration is now open for Small Group Ministry for this spring. Get to know other members and friends better while discussing spiritual and life topics openly and in depth. For a description of how SGM works, click here.

We recently added an LGBT affinity group for LGBT folks and straight supportive friends, facilitated by Julie Smith. Register on Sunday or by calling the office at 233-9897. These six new groups will begin in February and March 2010, including a new “Green SGM” facilitated by Green Sanctuary Chair, Bev Prager.

Start Dates/Locations:

1. Monday evenings (7:00-9:00 pm), February 22, Farmington - Facilitator Bev Prager, Hosts Janice & David Newton - This “Green SGM” will focus its readings and reflections on “living green.” Specially selected readings include passages from Henry David Thoreau, the Northwest Earth Institute, “Mindful Eating” by Jan Chozen Bays, MD, and the collection of essays in “Less is More: Embracing Simplicity for a Healthy Planet, a Caring Economy and Lasting Happiness.”

2. Tuesday evenings (7:00-9:00 pm), March 2, West Hartford - Facilitator Heather Ferguson-Hull, Host Betsy Mahaffey

3. Thursday evenings (7:00-9:00 pm), March 18, Hartford - Facilitator Carol Davidson, Host Bruce Robbins - This Mini-SGM is limited to four sessions, with the option for more sessions at the group’s discretion.

4. Friday evenings (5:30-8:00 pm), March 19, USH Meeting House - This Family-Friendly group is open to everyone, but will especially accommodate adult members and friends with younger children. Format changes are:
    • Six meetings, instead of the usual eight
    • Dinner of pizza and salad for adults and
       kids, costs shared by all
    • USH provides childcare at no charge
    • Dinner from 5:30-6:30 pm; SGM from
       6:30-8:00 pm
    • Meet on Friday evening (no school
       next day!)

We welcome participation by parents, whether single or partnered. Both spouses or partners can choose to participate, or just one spouse or partner may participate. Facilitated by Hugh Schweitzer.

5. Wednesday afternoons (2:00-4:00 pm), March 3, West Hartford - Facilitator Esther McKone, Host Linda Ericson-Ebel

6. Wednesday evenings (7:00-9:00 pm), March 10, Canton - Facilitator Julie Smith, Host Debbie Nardi - This SGM is an LGBT affinity group, with straight and supportive friends welcome.

For more info, including accessibility concerns, contact Mike Roy (860 561-4061), Michaelroy25(at symbol)comcast.net

I Am a Man, Part One: Our Human Need for Identity - Reverend BJ asked—and suggested some answers to — several thought-provoking questions during the service on Sunday, January 10. These questions asked the meaning of words such as identity, connection and clan.

The children clustered around her on the chancel steps and the congregation spread out in front of her were asked the same questions: “Who are you? What would you say if you couldn’t say your name?” After the kids had gone, Reverend BJ continued questioning us, asking:

o If you are in a coma, would you still have an identity?

o 20 years ago, would you have said the same thing as today?

o How can one piece of someone’s identity (religion, for example) make you want to kill him?

We are a great many more identities than we say, Reverend BJ suggested.

“We just love stories about identity and loss of identity.” The need for identity is deep within us and is affiliated with the clan and the need to belong. Reverend BJ said we need a clan (be it family, teacher, church) to be recognized, acknowledged, considered, appreciated and respected. “It can be devastating,” she said, “if these needs are not met.” Social scientists say our nationality and religion are very strong parts of our identity.

Using a personal example from her own life (as she is wont to do), she told us that our search committee that chose her told that her we cold northerners could use some of her southern warmth. Then they asked her what we could give her. Her answer to the search committee brought chuckles from her present-day congregation: “I could use some reserve and respect for privacy.”

Reverend BJ suggested the answer to another of her questions — Why do we come to church?—is that those who come are “people who know they need something…Some are broken, some are astonishingly whole and need to share… This place holds us when we hurt, this place holds us when we are happy.” She reviewed the “three constellations of needs” she has been preaching about this church year: well-being, self-expression (including identity) and connection.

“I am a Man” were the words written on posters worn by hundreds of sanitation workers as they marched in protest in Memphis before Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed there. Dissatisfied was the title of words of Dr. King’s set to music and marvelously sung by the full USH choir during Sunday’s service. The opening words:

“Today we are challenged to be dissatisfied, dissatisfied until everyone can have food for their bodies, education for their minds, and dignity and freedom for their spirit.” - Kayla Costenoble

Webmaster reports communications restored - Last Thursday we began the transition from one set of software governing our web pages, email boxes and listservs to a new set free of problems causing continuing difficulties for the past several months. During this transition, we lost our web page for a few hours, all USH email boxes for about half a day and all existing listservs were abolished.

Restoration of normal operating procedures and creation of new listservs has been ongoing for the past several days as listserv members now know. According to the webmaster, David Newton, most listservs are now up and functioning under completely new software. The listservs are private and limited to participants only, not publicly noted in cyberspace, and not available to those who might care to join one or another without permission. New subscribers to a listserv will be added upon request from the "organizing head" of the listserv group. Any communications sent to a listserv by a non-participant probably will be intercepted and sent to a listserv administrator for disposition.

Because of common courtesy, and spam prevention, those who use listservs should not send communications to several at one time, and certainly not include extensive lists of individual email addresses at the same time. If you wish discuss issues on a particular listserv, that is desirable when it is limited to active individuals on a given sub-council or group. However, for listservs containing many subscribers, consider the unwanted consequences before hitting the reply all key for trivial comments. Also remember, all listserv participants will receive the communications directed through the listserv, so you need not specially electronic copy individuals who are already participants, as this will simply compound their incoming email unnecessarily. Also, consider deleting unnecessary copy when you reply to a particular email with considerable history.

Our goal is to eliminate the problems of geographic dispersal through the marvels of modern communications. This desirable situation is at hand through our current instruments of communication. We need only use them well for the benefit of all. - David Newton, Webmaster

What Else is Happening

My dear friends:

Time and the love of friends is indeed healing. I am at the point where I can now speak of losing Charles and the future without feeling pain in my heart and a rip in my soul.

Your overwhelming support through words, deeds, and prayers make that possible and I thank all you for these priceless gifts. You never truly understand how loved you are until something horrible happens but the credible love of our USH family is a key healing force to get Maya, Wil and me through this challenge.

In appreciation and love, Susan Huntington

Interweave Meeting Planned - Our next Interweave meeting will be at 12 noon on Sunday, January 17th in the USH Library. The main agenda item will be planning for a GLBT dance on Feb. 13th at 4 PM at the Meeting House.

All are welcome to come to our meeting AND the dance! - Greg Nickett

Donate - Bring your old, broken, and spare parts of silver or gold jewelry, tea sets, coins, flatware, and other items. They will be converted to support our General Fund and are not intended to replaces pledges.

Look for the box in the lobby. If you have questions or need a receipt for tax purposes (large items only please), contact Lisa Sementilli )vivalps(at symbol)comcast.net or 860.521-1220.

The USH Men's Luncheon Group - meets at noon on the third Tuesday of the month, at Carmen Anthony's Restaurant, located on Route 44 in Avon.

The speaker for the meeting on Tuesday, January 19, will be Dick Edwards. Dick's topic will be "Do You Remember the Burma Shave Ads? If you do you'll enjoy hearing them again, if you don"t don't miss this chance to hear them.

Join us for this movie, Food Inc., Sunday January 24, 12-2PM - All the Facts.

Family Potluck Supper and Games Night - Come along and enjoy a meal and a game with us. It’s January 29 in our Fellowship Hall. Arrive 5:00 - ish. Dinner 5:30 - 6:30 Games to begin around 6:30 after clean-up. Our Family Friendly Small Group Ministry participants will join us for the potluck supper and will then go to their own gathering and we will then let the games begin.

Bring a dish to share, a beverage, and your favorite game. All this for $5 for families and $2 for an individual. You can sign up and pay at the Programs Table during Coffee Hour; it helps us with set-up. Or just come with potluck… we’ll make room at the table for you. - Carol Davidson

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Hot Music on a Winter Night - Come join us for the Cabaret - and keep the Meeting House singing! January 30th 7 PM More

Small Dinner Parties - In 2010 Small Dinner Parties will be on February 6, March 6 and April 17. With advance notice, a substitute can be found if the registrant must miss a date. More

Adult Programs - On Sunday, January 17, be sure to stop by the Programs Table during Coffee hour. You will be able to register for any of the following programs: Family Potluck Supper and Games Night, Friday, January 29 (more), Benefits of Mindfulness In Everyday Life, Monday, February 1 (more), Small Dinner Parties (more), and Small Group Ministry (more). Registration and books for the popular series Great Decisions, starting February 7, will also be available (more).

Tai Chi. A new eight week session, with Instructor Beth Hugh, will begin on Wednesday, January 27, 6:30 - 7:30 PM, $50. If you have any questions, please call Ginny Hedrick at 860-677-9272.

Registration and payment for programs may also be made by calling the office at 860-233-9897.

Be sure to mark your calendars to attend the movie: NEW! Food, Inc., Sunday, January 24, 12:00 noon. This documentary film Food, Inc. provides a critical look at the industrialized nature of our country's food supply. It explores the relationship between how our food is produced and human health, workers' rights, animal welfare, and other issues. Award winning filmmaker Robert Kenner and investigative authors Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation) and Michael Pollan (The Omnivore's Dilemma) present how complicated the U.S. food system has become in the last few decades.

The complete listing of the Winter/Spring Programs for Adults and Families will be available next week.

Benefits of Mindfulness in Everyday Life
Monday, February 1 - 6:30 – 8:30 PM - Unitarian Meeting House - 50 Bloomfield Avenue - Hartford More

Caring Network - Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied. Pearl S. Buck - If you know of any member experiencing some difficulty, please contact Diana Heymann, Chair of the Caring Network heydiana(at symbol) comcast.net 860.461.0908 or call the office so we can provide some assistance. A wide range of community services is also available to those in need by calling InfoLine at 211. Please contact Diana if you are able to volunteer your services.

This Sunday's collection - will be taken to support the work of The Greater Hartford Interfaith Coalition for Equity & Justice or GHICEJ. USH has been a member of the Coalition for over five years and is aptly represented on the GHICEJ Board by Bill Young and Tom and Joan Kemble. Currently, 10-12 members of USH tutor at either Noah Webster School or Rawson School under a program sponsored by GHICEJ. This program has resulted in greatly improved literacy scores as well as math scores for the students who participate. Under the program, the number of tutors at NW has increased to almost 65. More tutors are always welcomed at both schools.

But GHICEJ has been involved in other areas, as well. In a letter recently mailed to members and friend's of GHICEJ, its President, Rev. Joshua Pawelek (Senior Minister at the Unitarian Universalist Society:East), wrote, in part:

"As 2009 draws to a close......I am proud of what we have built together and with our community partners over the past year. I am even more excited for what the coming year holds:

Education: In 2009 we expanded our work on community schooling. Our tutoring program at Noah Webster Elementary School was recognized by the State Department of Education as a shining example of the way faith-based organizations can partner with public schools. In 2010 we will replicate the same model at Rawson Elementary School.
Health Care: In 2009 we launched our groundbreaking effort to build awareness in faith communities of race-based disparities in health care outcomes in our state. In 2010 we expect to build the public will to challenge and transform these disparities.
Urban Violence: In 2009 we worked with clergy leaders in the Interdenominational Ministerial Alliance to train pastors and lay leaders to provide a pastoral response to urban violence. From that training a network of faith leaders established JUST PEACE. In 2010 we expect JUST PEACE to begin implementing its vision for ending violence in Hartford.

To achieve these goals and more in 2010 we need your financial support. GHICEJ was born out of a promise that if we work together we can bring much needed justice to our region." - Joshua Pawelek

Further Down The Road (About 30 Days)

Social Justice Journeys (From the UUA) And from USH

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Green Topics - Did You Know? - Producing one pound of beef uses up 29 times more water than one pound of chicken and 50 times more water than one pound of soybeans.

External Events and Educational Notes

Experiential education that transforms lives - Looking for alternative educational opportunities for your child? Join us for an open house to learn more about The Meeting School, a Quaker boarding high school in Rindge, New Hampshire. With our working organic farm, nurturing community, and commitment to progressive, experiential education, we prepare students for college and for life.

The presentation will include a video about the school and Q & A with faculty and parents. Meeting School faculty and parents will present
a video about the school and be on hand to answer questions.

Sunday, January 24, 2010
11:30 am

Hartford Quaker Meeting House
144 S. Quaker Lane
West Hartford, Connecticut.

For more information call (603) 899-3366 or visit www.meetingschool.org