USH-Enews July 22, 2010 Print Only Edition

USH-Enews is a weekly email newsletter produced for members and friends of the Unitarian Society of Hartford. The USH web address is: http://www.ushartford.com/ Check at the end of this USH-Enews for information on submissions, subscriptions and escape from the mailing list or to find past issues of the weekly USH-Enews click here.

Sunday - 25 July : Second Summer Dyad - Relationship with Family
Sue Smolski, Liz Garmise & Niki Maskaitis, Worship Associates. Last week we had the sermon and this week we have the questions and structured discussion. Our last effort at this turned out to be spectacularly successful. (More)

Summer Program
This Sunday, July 22th, our Green Crafting: Protect the Environment while Having Fun! program will continue. Children ages 3 and up are invited to classroom D downstairs for this creative project!

Nursery Care is available downstairs as well. - Gail M. Syring, DRE

Relationship with Family - Last week Sue Smolski spoke during her sermon on the Relationship with Family, with her remarks based a sermon given by Steve Edington on May 13, 2007. This Sunday we will be discussing some thoughts related to the sermon. In preparation, you may read (Steve Edington's Sermon) the original here, and these questions are suggested for your consideration:

Each human life is bound with others, and this is especially true within the family. It is here that each person is shaped and formed by all the interactions of affection, of act, and of word. In the relationships of family we receive our sense of worth and personhood, our sense of what is right and wrong, our feeling of who we are, and what our unique place in this world is.”

“Families are very human and often times fragile institutions. We invest a great deal of need and hope and expectation in them”…Families are very resilient as well”

USH Unitarians are Remarkable People - From time to time, as many of you know, we look at ourselves, examples in many different ways of most remarkable people. We continue that effort now with a few words about some of our recently elected leaders. This week we finish our series.

Karl Peters, At-Large, Spiritual Life - has been a member of USH for more than ten years. He has spoken several times at Sunday services and has led adult RE groups on topics in science and religion. Before coming to Connecticut, Karl taught philosophy and religious studies for 28 years at Rollins College in Winter Park, FL. He has published two books that are suitable for the educated public: Dancing with the Sacred: Evolution, Ecology and God (2002) and Spiritual Transformations: Science, Religion, and Human Becoming (2008). He has been Editor (1979-1989) and Co-Editor (1989-2009) of Zygon: Journal of Religion and Science (www.zygonjournal.org). Currently he is the President of the Center for Advanced Study in Religion and Science and Vice President for Conferences of the Institute on Religion in an Age of Science (www.iras.org). During the early 1990s Karl was the organizer and first President of the University Unitarian Universalist Society of Central Florida. He lives in Granby with his wife, Marj Davis, who is a minister in the United Church of Christ. - Mostly quoted from the Annual report

Testimonial 7/18/10 - What is family? I always wanted to come from a large family, but sadly that was not the case. My mom was an only child and my dad’s two sisters were much younger than he and they lived in Florida and we rarely saw them. I have one sister who also lives in Florida with her husband and two kids.

As a child I dreamed of marrying into a large Italian family that had huge Sunday dinners and laughed and fought together. That was not my fate either as my husband Stu, is not Italian, has one sister and although a closer family than mine, still not that big raucous bunch that I dreamed of.

Well, then I guess I could have a lot of kids and start my own big family – while it would never be Italian, it would still be big! But again, my dream was thwarted. I met Stu when I was 31 and did not have Ben until I was 35. Dave followed at 40 and that was enough for this body to handle.

Besides, over the years, I had starting creating my own family. My friend Ann, who I lovingly refer to as my sister of the heart has become part of my family. In another world, I believe we are sisters. We share everything. We meet for coffee or drinks and solve the problems of the world. She came with me the first time I came to this church, church shopping. We do holidays and vacations. We share a love of photography, reading and the beach.

My friend Karen, another sister of the heart is from a large Irish family. She is one of five kids, who all grew up to have three or more kids. When her immediate family gets together, grandparents, kids and their kids there are 29. They expect Auntie Liz, Uncle Stu, Ben and Dave to swell those ranks to 33 at family gatherings. They are all my family.

When Stu and I met we started a tradition of having both of our families to our house for Thanksgiving dinner. One year that meant nine people crammed into our little condo tripping over each other – ah – if you put a few people in a small space – it feels like more people! My friend and former neighbor, Rhoda, graciously saved me from having to make Thanksgiving dinner the year my dad passed away.

That was the first year that we would have no grandparents at the table. I tried to get her to come to my house (I still had six in my group to her one that year) but she insisted that we go to her farm and a new tradition was born. We collect anyone we can find who has no family in the area, a small family, or doesn’t like their family (which is a different story) and have grown our ranks to 28 for dinner at the farm. This is my big family. I don’t think anyone is Italian but we have Jews and gentiles, gay and straight, kids and adults who act like kids. We laugh – but we don’t argue (well maybe a little on politics), we eat a lot, we compete for best dish awards, we all pitch in to clean up.

Some of us are related by blood, most are not, but we are a family, even if it is only for that day.

How have you created family in your life? - Liz Garmise

Proposed Antiques Show Victim of Economy - It is very disappointing to have to write this message. Despite great effort, I have not been able to recruit enough dealers to merit holding the Antiques Fair as we had hoped.

Our ads were in three of the major dealer newspapers, one weekly and two monthly, for May, June and July. Richard and I attended shows in Guilford, Danielson, Hartford, Sharon, Litchfield, Glastonbury, Ridgefield and Brimfield, and traveled to shops and antique centers like Stamford. We spoke to dozens of dealers, who were uniformly kind, but ultimately discouraging as they moaned about the economy and its damage to the antiques trade. Several of them were closing shop. Even the decades-old Greenwich show was closed down.

Itinerant dealers are no longer buying as they can't sell. Kathie Ferguson was helpful and her name recruited two dealers, but we weren't able to supplement with others as the dealers hesitated to risk money on a new show, when they weren't selling at the old ones.

Helen Michaels and JoAnne McClurg tried to recruit from shows they knew, but with no result.

The people we approached were uniformly impressed with our site (we carried printouts of our Fair web site) and expressed a wish to join us, but did not feel they could. We cannot justify further expense and have discontinued calling. If you have placed any cards or ads for us in shops, etc., please remove them.

Thank you to the Board of Directors for trusting me to try this and many thanks to those of you who contributed time and effort, especially JIm and Ellie Venneman, Hugh Schweitzer, Sarah Gilligan and Rich Ferguson-Hull (graphics designers extraordinaire!), Nita Hansen, Roy Cook, Brian Mullen, Peter Magistri, Helen David, Nancy Reed, Janice Newton and particularly David Newton, who gave me a practical tutorial in computer, created the web site, and held my hand through many trials with e-mails. Thanks also to those who said they would help, but never had the chance.

Family Relationships - Oh joy! Sunday’s sermon on July 18 gave me a chance to use one of my favorite but hard-to-work-into-a-conversation words—serendipity. On Friday night I played earth mother as eleven members of my family gathered for dinner at our home. This included four generations: Earl and me, most of our kids, several grandkids, and one precious 14-month old great grandkid. Sunday’s service was on our relationship with our families. Serendipity indeed.

Worship Associate Liz Garmise told of her early dreams of marrying into a “large Italian family” and having many children. This dream did not materialize exactly as planned. She married into a small non-Italian family and had only two children. But she has found some strong friends who have become an important part of her extended family.

Worship Associate Sue Smolski read parts of a sermon given by UU Reverend Steve Edington at the UU church of Nashua, New Hampshire, on May 13, 2007, entitled “What is a Family?”

Reverend Edington said that over the years he had become convinced that “what primarily defines a family is much more a matter of function than it is one of form…a family is best understood in terms of what it does, much more so than who happens to make it up.”

In a healthy family, he said, we receive our sense of worth and personhood, sense of right and wrong, feelings of who we are and our unique place in this world. We all need that place where we are accepted unconditionally, just as we are. Reverend Edington used a line from Robert Frost’s poem Death of the Hired Man to define home: “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”

Reverend Edington also quoted from Peter Collier’s book, Traits of a Healthy Family: “Your family is what you’ve got…It is your limits and your possibilities. Sometimes you get so far away from it, you’ll think you’re outside its influence forever, then before you figure out what’s happening, it will be right beside you.”

Some families bless and nurture us, Reverend Edington said; others leave us needing to recover from them. Whether you are crushed, saved, or some of both, your family of origin is something you never completely walk away from. It is the basic social unit against which we define ourselves and take responsibility for our lives.

“Families are very human and oftentimes fragile institutions. We invest a great deal of need and hope and expectation in them…However fragile they may be, families are also pretty resilient …enough to survive many of our human failings,” Reverend Edington said.

Our closing hymn echoed the service’s theme: “…for the joy of human care, sister, brother, parent, child, for the kinship we all share, for all gentle thoughts and mild.”

On Sunday July 25, we will have a congregational conversation on our relationship with our family. Should be interesting! - Kayla Costenoble

"Justice" General Assembly to be held in Phoenix - 6.28.10 - Delegates at the 2010 General Assembly in Minneapolis overwhelmingly endorsed a resolution Saturday committing themselves to holding a special “Justice” General Assembly in Phoenix in 2012. The resolution’s passage was the result of the miniassembly process, which produced a document after hours of meetings, negotiation, and compromise.

The issue of whether to boycott Phoenix as the site of the 2012 GA had been hotly contested among UUs after the passage of Arizona Senate Bill 1070, which empowers local police to check the immigration status of those otherwise detained. Shortly after the bill’s passage at the end of April, the UUA Board released a business resolution advocating that the UUA boycott Phoenix as the site of the 2012 GA.

The Board is empowered to determine both the time and place of General Assembly. They put the issue on the GA agenda to include delegates in the decision-making process.

In early June, UUA President Peter Morales issued a letter asking UUs not to boycott Phoenix and to create a General Assembly that would be focused on witnessing for immigrant justice. His letter included invitations from two immigrant advocacy groups, Puente and the National Day Laborer Organizing Network, asking UUs to hold their General Assembly in Phoenix in 2012.

Initially groups representing Latina/o/Hispanic UUs and UUs of color and their allies, including LUUNA (Latina/o Unitarian Universalist Networking Association), DRUUMM (Diverse and Revolutionary Unitarian Universalist Multicultural Ministries), and ARE (Allies for Racial Equity) all endorsed a boycott. One of their main concerns was for the safety of Latina/o/Hispanic UUs and UUs of color attending the 2012 GA. After Morales’s letter, DRUUMM modified its position, advocating careful discussion of the issue at GA. LUUNA and ARE still supported a boycott, but like DRUUMM, supported additional dialogue at GA.

The Board’s business resolution advocating the boycott was put on the GA agenda for a vote at Saturday afternoon’s plenary. According to the UUA bylaws, business resolutions cannot be amended on the plenary floor, but they can be amended at miniassemblies held before the plenary session. At the Thursday miniassembly on this issue, groups presented two substantive amendments of the Board’s resolution. Both advocated holding a UU “convergence” dedicated to witnessing for immigrant justice in Phoenix in 2012. The two resolutions differed in one respect: One resolution said that it wanted this convergence to be the General Assembly and the other said that it wanted the UUA Board “to consider whether it is appropriate or safe to hold GA 2012 concurrently with this convergence.”

This difference about whether the gathering in Phoenix should be an official General Assembly or a separate meeting dedicated to witnessing for immigrant justice generated much debate.
Lynne Anderson, a member of the UU Congregation of Atlanta, spoke against the idea of having GA in Phoenix. “There are those who just would not feel safe,” she said. “I have relatives who would feel uncomfortable.” She did advocate a separate large-scale public witness event in Phoenix. “Let’s go to Arizona as a body,” she said. “Our focus should be nothing else but immigration reform.”

Jim Graham, a member of the Valley UU Church in Chandler, Ariz., urged that the meeting in Phoenix be the 2012 General Assembly. “In principle these two amendments are essentially the same,” he said. “But, we’re concerned that decoupling GA from a values-based meeting dilutes the impact. Our values are our business. If we can’t live our values then we have a bigger problem than going to Arizona in 2012.”

Another difference in the two amendments was that one advocated that the meeting be “as free as possible from business and activities unrelated to the work of justice.” Discussion ensued about whether a Phoenix General Assembly should include the same kind of agenda as a “regular” General Assembly, or whether it should be reduced to a minimum.

The Rev. Mitra Rahnema, minister of the UU Church in Grosse Pointe, Mich., and a spokesperson for DRUUMM, said that you could not ask Latina/o/Hispanic UUs or UUs of color to compromise their safety to attend a “regular” GA. “You don’t ask people to cross a picket line for ‘business as usual,’” she said.

Charles Burkhalter, a member of the UU Congregation of Green Valley, Ariz., was one of the few people speaking on behalf of a boycott. “It’s a human rights issue that has been politicized,” he said. “In politics, money is power and power is what moves politics. We have to close our wallets and purses to Arizona. Public witness is not going to make anyone think about repealing this law.”

At the end of Thursday’s miniassembly the gathered delegates voted overwhelmingly to proceed with the two amendments advocating for GA—or some other kind of social justice meeting—in Phoenix. They agreed to continue the discussion at a miniassembly on Friday dedicated to discussing another business resolution that was not expected to generate much debate.

After the Thursday miniassembly, representatives from DRUUMM, LUUNA, ARE, and ministers from Arizona who favored having GA in Phoenix began meeting.

The Rev. Wendy von Zirpolo, minister of the UU Church of Marblehead, Mass., and ARE president, presented a new amendment at the Friday miniassembly, incorporating elements of both the earlier amendments. “The proposed amendment represents many hours of deep listening, tears, and prayer following the mini-assembly yesterday,” she said. “Members of DRUUMM, LUUNA, ARE, and the Arizona ministers met late into the night. Some met this afternoon. We’ve made a commitment to continued conversation and collaboration that will extend beyond the vote on Saturday.”

The amendment called upon the UUA Board to hold a justice-oriented General Assembly in Phoenix. It also asked the UUA administration to work with leaders in Arizona UU congregations to establish an Arizona immigration ministry; asked the Board to work in accountable relationships with DRUUMM, LUUNA, ARE, Equual Access (a group promoting equality and access for UUs with disabilities), Transgender Religious Unitarian Universalists Together (TRUUST), and other stakeholders to maximize the safety of historically marginalized groups going to Phoenix; called on the UUABboard to minimize financial contributions to the Arizona economy; and called on the Board to provide resources to build the capacity of UUs to stand in opposition to systemic racism.

After hearing the amended version, Robert Smith, a member of Valley UU Church in Chandler, Ariz., who supported keeping GA in Phoenix, said in a choked voice, “I came here deep in my own conviction but not knowing if I could trust my fellow UUs and the process to set aside our differences and work together. As someone attending my first GA, I’m so impressed with you all, so impressed with the process, and with the partnerships and the allies we have formed.”

Then the work of amending the amendment began.
The Rev. Susan Frederick-Gray, minister of the UU Congregation of Phoenix, Ariz., stood up to voice her support for the amendment. She also said that she would like to see language from one of the original two amendments, stating that the 2012 GA be dedicated to justice work and that GA business be reduced to a minimum, reinserted. David Anderson, a member of University Unitarian Church in Seattle, argued against this, saying that he wanted the Board to use its discretion to focus on immigrant justice, but that it should also have the opportunity to add other things to the agenda.
UUA Moderator Gini Courter responded, saying that she liked the specificity of this amendment. “It’s never hurtful for the General Assembly to be clear with the Board about what it expects,” she said. ”I appreciate the clarity of the delegates in not leaving everything up to the Board. I appreciate this degree of direction.”

A vote was called, and the first section was amended, calling for a “Justice General Assembly in which business is limited to the minimum required by our bylaws.”

People also raised concerns about section four of the revised document, which called on the Board “to explore options within the Phoenix area that would minimize our financial contribution to the Arizona business economy.”

Frederick-Gray suggested that GA meetings and activities be held in the community, since the Phoenix Convention Center has not yet been booked. “We should look for ways that would help us honor the important work of a boycott,” she said.
Kim Chapman, a member of Unity Church Unitarian in St. Paul, Minn., argued against this, saying that he feared that some of the passion for an economic boycott came from anger. “There are a lot of business people in Phoenix who feel like we do,” he said. “Will an economic boycott directly punish these people for what we think they’ve done? Do we want to be responsible for unintended consequences as well as offending potential allies in the business community?”

Mary Francis, a member of the Norman UU Fellowship and the UU Community Church of Norman, Okla., said, “I still have a problem buying grapes after the grape boycott in the 1960s. My suggestion is that the UUA work with the people in Phoenix and create lists of [business] people friendly to our position so I can spend my money and make it go to principles we believe in.”
The amendment was approved, and that section was changed, asking “the UUA Board to direct the economic impact of our presence in Phoenix towards partners and allies as much as is feasible.”

The final version of the amendment called upon the UUA Board to hold a justice-oriented General Assembly in Phoenix in 2012 with a business agenda limited to the minimum allowed by the bylaws. It also asked the UUA administration to work with leaders in Arizona UU congregations to establish an Arizona immigration ministry; asked the Board to work in accountable relationships with DRUUMM, LUUNA, ARE, Equual Access, TRUUST, and other stakeholders to maximize the safety of historically marginalized groups going to Phoenix; called on the UUA Board to direct economic transactions during the 2012 General Assembly towards partners and allies; and called on the Board to provide resources to build the capacity of UUs to stand in opposition to systemic racism.

The final amended resolution was presented to the General Assembly at the Saturday afternoon plenary session. One section of the resolution, about limiting GA business to the minimum required by the bylaws, was left as an unincorporated amendment, subject to debate and a vote. An attempt to remove that section failed. The resolution to hold General Assembly in Phoenix 2012 passed with an overwhelming majority. - Jane Greer

Multigenerational Dance Event - On Friday, August 6th at 6:30 PM, Randy and Sandra Locke will be offering a joyous dance party for the whole family! More

Adult Programs - We wish to thank all of you who planned and participated in the successful 2009-2010 Fall and Winter/Spring Programs for Adults and Families. More

$10 Pizza Dinner & Movie on Fri, August 27 Planned- for Fellowship Hall at 5:30 PM. Dinner will be at 6, followed by the movie, then optional discussion. More

Caring Network - The best mirror is an old friend. - George Herbert 1651 - If you know of any member experiencing some difficulty, please contact Diana Heymann, Chair of the Caring Network heydiana(at symbol) comcast.net 860.461.0908 or call the office so we can provide some assistance.- before 10:30 on Sunday. A wide range of community services is also available to those in need by calling InfoLine at 211. Please contact Diana if you are able to volunteer your services.

Green Topics - Did You Know? - Green Table Summer Hours: 3rd Sunday of the Month 8/15). Stock up on your environmentally friendly cleaning and paper goods. Please don't take a vacation from doing what's right for mother earth.

On the Calendar - Please notify Brian Mullen of all additions or changes to the calendar. Follow this link to all our scheduled events

A Matter of Opinion

External Events and Educational Notes

ALS Walk Saturday 25th September More

Nuts and Bolts: The member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association covenant to affirm and promote: the inherent worth and dignity of every person; justice, equity, and compassion in human relations; acceptance of one another and encouragement of spiritual growth in our congregations; a free and responsible search for truth and meaning; the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process, within our congregations and in society at large; the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all; respect for the interdependent web of all existence, of which we are a part.

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