USH-Enews for October 11, 2007 Print Only Edition

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Post service gathering for the dedication of the Pet Memorial Garden (photo by Anne Bailey)

The USH-Enews is a weekly email newsletter produced for members and friends of the Unitarian Society of Hartford. The USH web address is: http://www.ushartford.com/ Check at the end of this USH-Enews for information on submissions, subscriptions and escape from the mailing list. And, to read the monthly Meetinghouse Messenger (newsletter) on line, or past issues of the weekly USH-Enews click here.

Office hours: M-F 9-3 (excluding W 10 -11); Rev. Jamestone: Phone: 860 233-9897; Email: RevBJ@USHartford.com - Rev. BJ office hours: Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday by appointment.

Sunday - 14 October - Events of Grace - We will formally dedicate our new remarkable reed organ. The donor, Rev. Marjorie H. Davis, will be present at the unveiling with her husband, member Karl Peters, who will give the sermon based on his forthcoming book. Along with UU congregations all over the country, our morning offering will go to support the UUA campaign, Now Is the Time, a campaign to grow our faith. Also as a dues paying congregation in good standing with the UUA we are eligible to apply for UUA grants to support special program work we might design. Members can contact Bill Young if they have ideas for grants. After the second service on Oct. 14th, John Jesensky will be giving a brief demonstration-recital on the Vocalion reed organ to show off its capabilities and varied sounds. And yes,he will take requests!

This is an excerpt from Karl Peter’s sermon, “Events of Grace.” Karl Peters has been a friend and member of USH for ten years. He is professor emeritus of philosophy and religion, Rollins College, and the husband of UCC minister Marj Davis. Marj and Karl have donated a reed organ in honor of Marj’s brother, Norman Hall, former organ owner.

Music - This is the day we unveil the Vocalion reed organ. The unique sound of the reed organ is perfect for our Chapel. At 11:00 the reed organ will play the Musical Call to Worship in the Chapel and be heard in the Sanctuary, thanks to the miracles of modern technology. The Choir sings an anthem that showcases the many colors of the organ.

Lori Bollinger and John will be performing pieces from the era in which the Reed Organ would have been used most prominently.

"Sing Unto the Lord," contains vocal parts that represent the organ in many ways.
Different colors and "stops" are brought out in the singing throughout the
entire piece. A special thanks to Karl Peters, Rev. Marjorie Hall Davis, and all those who have assisted in bringing this beautiful instrument to its new home in Hartford.

MCW: (9 and 11): Sicilienne by Faure (1845 - 1924); OFF (9): Andalouse by Pessard (1843-1917); OFF (11): Sing Unto the Lord by York; POST (9 and 11): Improvisation on #36 When in Our Music

REflections on Children's Programming - "His feet, her feet, fuzzy fur feet!"
What stories were precious to you when you were a child? What books did you read over and over to your children or grandchildren?

"Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere."
The books that we read as children become a part of our personalities in a profound way, anchoring us to the people we love and the places we remember. Like mantras that keep us connected to our wise, innocent selves, the words continue to echo in our hearts.
"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

We would like to expand our church's collection of children's books and make them available for our kids to borrow, and are looking for suggestions of titles. If you have a story in your heart that could be shared with another generation of children, please contact Gail at: dre(at symbol)hartford.com or 860-233-9897 with the title. - Gail M. Syring DRE

From the Editor: Our readers tell us they most value the pictures we include in the USH-Enews. This issue has a feast for the eyes. Be sure to follow the links to photo pages, and be a bit patient if you are using a slow modem. - DCN

..Respect for the interdependent web of all existence, of which we are a part - They came in shells, fur, scales, feathers; as memories in pictures and memories in the minds of their proud and loving family members. They came for the October 7th St Francis Day Pet Blessing and Dedication of the Pet Memorial Garden, a memorial for our pets made possible by the generous donation from Helen Skinner. They came because their owners care very much!

You need only look at the faces of participants to know the rest of the story! -DCN

On September 30th, the congregation enjoyed a double whammy of music to begin the fall season: First, John Currie’s thoughtful and inspiring talk about breaking boundaries using Philip Johnson’s architecture and Charles Ives’s music as examples.

Then, the product of months of planning, conniving, and fun, a celebration of the 22 years of Mattie Banzhaf’s music ministry at the Meeting House, featuring a gala performance by many of our stars of the past: Chai-lun Yueh, Laurie MacAlpine, and, of course, Tom Schmutzler, our silver-anniversaried organist, himself. Both Laurie and Tom composed pieces especially for the Musical Festschrift, as Rev. Jamestone acclaimed it. Mattie herself chose to conduct a chorale, by Bach Of course, Mattie’s family contributed mightily to the day, with her husband, Wally, daughter, Amy, and son, Jeremy (in spirit from Japan) offering their memories of a musical Mom and wife. From her son-in-law, Stephen Banzaert, came a magnificent trumpet duet with Tom Schmutzler on the organ.

At the reception following the service, guest were treated to food, music and fun. Mary-Anne Mulholland wrote a parody of the qualms and excuses of choristers set to the tune of a favorite hymn, the jolly chorus of which was, “Mattie keeps us moving on, and so we must keep singing,” and Sid Garvais tinkled the ivories as only he can.

Some former choristers traveling from a distance to share their congratulations (besides Tom who drove up from North Carolina for the surprise party) included: Ben Whelan-Morin, former tenor soloist, who is now an Associate Director of Music for a performing arts school in Washington. He and Kelly were married in the Meeting House a couple of years ago. We also welcomed back Patrick Kieley, another tenor, who’s now a resident of Sheffield, MA.

Mattie was presented with several gifts from the congregation including a commemorative plaque, which will be hung in the Sanctuary. This was presented by Dr. Bill Willett, Professor Emeritus at the Hartt School of Music of the University of Hartford, who, along with Sid Garvais, brought Mattie to the Meeting House. Mattie also received a beautiful memory book, soon to be filled with messages written by past ministers, interim ministers and her friends at USH. Later in the year, Mattie will receive two final gifts, an exquisitely carved conductor’s music stand (to be delivered from Idaho this winter) and a purse of donations from the congregation.

Mattie’s own thankful response to the choir captures the spirit of the morning and her feelings of gratitude to the whole congregation:

“Words truly fail me -- today's celebration was just fantastic. You kept your secrets perfectly, yet you learned all that music and sang with verve and musicianship. The gifts are so thoughtful. I'll look forward to reading all the "notes" in the lovely album, and using the magnificent music stand. I was deeply moved by the solos throughout the service, both the wonderful music and the chicanery needed to rehearse it all. The choir
acquitted yourselves beautifully. Tom's piece was exquisite; the Bach was splendid; and Mary-Anne's revised "Chorus of Excuses" was tip-top. The spoken tributes were eloquent and the reception was delicious.“ Come with us to see the pictures.

. . . . All I Want is Loving You, and Music, Music, Music. . - New music and old friends came together for an hour of glorious sound in Mattie Banzhaf’s honor on Sunday September 30. We celebrated Mattie’s two plus decades as USH Music Director with songs and words and hugs and laughter and tears and thanksgiving.

A letter from Rev. Jon Luopa began the service. Jon reminded us that he and Mattie began their tenure here about the same time. He said we were “graced by her collaborative magic with Tom Schmutzler and the choir,” and concluded, “Mattie is a miracle that has happened to all of us.”

It’s rather unusual for the Musical Call to Worship to be applauded during a service. But when it’s a Henry Purcell “Suite for Trumpet and Organ” performed by Mattie’s son-in-law Stephen Banzaert and former USH organist Tom Schmutzler, it’s warranted.

Tom, organist here from 1980 to 2005, surprised Mattie by appearing for her celebration, and delighted everyone with a piece for the choir he wrote especially for the occasion. His new music for an old hymn, “When in Our Music God is Glorified,” was premiered by the USH choir, joined by Rev. BJ.

Mattie’s daughter Amy Banzaert read a testimonial she and her brother Jeremy Banzhaf (presently a cello player in an orchestra in Japan) wrote to honor their mother. “Mom made music a huge part of our lives,” Amy said. A former violinist, she now sings. In November, she and Stephen will make Mattie and husband Wally first-time grandparents.

Baritone Chai-lun Yueh, who served as USH section leader and soloist from the late 1980’s through 1999, returned to the Meeting House to honor Mattie and to sing sections from Bach’s “Cantata No. 82.” Tom accompanied him on the organ; it was a heavenly old home week. Tom, now living in North Carolina, is Associate Director of Music at Central Steele Creek Presbyterian Church in Charlotte. Chai-lun teaches voice at the Hartford Conservatory (where he is Chair) and at Wesleyan University, Trinity College and the Hartt School.

Mattie’s husband Wally took time out from video-taping the service to recall how he and Mattie met at a summer camp. She was involved in music; he was involved in maintenance. “We truly had nothing whatsoever in common,” he explained—almost 40 years later. Although he calls himself non-musical, Wally described his very important musical function in his family: he is responsible for moving their piano.

Long-time member and former Choir Director Bill Willett, who was Mattie’s supervisor when she was a student at Hartt, presented an appreciation plaque to her which expressed “resounding thanks for generous and enthusiastic dedication to excellence in conducting and teaching.” Bill reminded the congregation that he and fellow long-time member/musician Sid Garvais pried Mattie away from the West Avon Congregational Church to come to the Unitarian Meeting House in 1986. (Bill remembered that his only question was whether she could handle Unitarian adults.) Gentlemen, we thank you.

Rev. BJ unveiled a picture of Mattie’s gift from the congregation—a new wooden conductor stand being handcrafted by an artisan in Idaho. Mattie told the congregation, “You have allowed me to grow musically and personally.” She told Tom, “You taught me patience and how to do the job.” She told the choir, “You cared for me in sickness and in health…you have given me gifts both tangible and intangible.”

For the closing hymn, “Let the Whole Creation Cry,” everyone in the congregation who had ever sung with Mattie during the past 21 years was asked to come join the choir; the chancel was jammed.

But it still wasn’t over. Laurie MacAlpine, former alto soloist, section leader and director of children’s music at the USH, composed a piano and violin duet, “With Grace,” which she and violinist Mary Georgis premiered for the occasion. Laurie said it expressed “Mattie’s love and her guiding presence in music at the Unitarian Meeting House.” Laurie has been Head of the Music Program at Ethel Walker School in Simsbury since 1998.

Kudos to all involved in designing this five-star production. It flowed seamlessly, from information in the program notes, to mighty music, to a sumptuous reception, to letters from those who could not be here (including Reverends Cooley and Sutherland), to a funny musical satire on working for Mattie, to an entirely satisfying service. And now, Come with us to see the pictures. - Kayla Costenoble

Training for Lay Pastoral Listeners - Prior information - 5:15-6:45 PM Thursdays October 18 - Nov 15

It’s not too late to apply for the training! Spiritual director Dr. Sara Worcester will provide five sessions, an interactive and informative program which will be useful to you in all your relationships. The setting includes experience of the spiritual practices for your own deepening in spirit as well. We’ll cover such topics as: why pastoral care matters, boundaries, acceptance, life issues. There will be role playing of visits you might make, including practice in beginning conversations, ending a visit, and active listening. This training is made possible for you, free of charge, due to the generosity of some one at USH who believes in YOU.

Silence; Introductions; Why Pastoral Care Matters; who are we and what is our purpose; and the basics of how we’ll function. (Assignment)

Silence; homework reflections; Where to start; Setting up visits; and role play of ‘Beginnings’. (Assignment)

Silence; homework reflections; The visit; using active-listening; role play an exchange; making connections; and knowing when to end. (Assignment)

Silence; homework reflections; Open questions; boundaries; acceptance; and limitations. (Assignment)

Silence; homework reflections; closure; follow-up; life issues faced/not fixing; and final questions.

*Pastoral Listening is active listening with compassionate hearing which shows that that person matters.*

Needed: Pencil, paper, and a true desire for caring…. - BJ

Language and Peacemaking: Our Faith in Connection - The word “connection” is going to be heard more and more around the Meeting House, we learned from Rev. BJ’s sermon on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) last Sunday. NVC is a process for creating and keeping peace in all structures in society—family, congregations, organizations, governments, countries.

“We should use our powers to bless rather than curse,” she said. To create peace, we need to connect within ourselves, to others, and to the structures in our world. Rev. BJ deplored the “myth” of the “domination construct,” where we are educated in such a way that makes violence enjoyable. Rev. BJ described “a way to peace” she observed during her recent attendance at Jewish High Holy Days services. In a symbolic, ritual act, individuals in the congregation kiss their prayer books, then touch the Torah with the book as a way to bring atonement and reconciliation.

Rev. BJ, a person who obviously plans ahead, reminded her congregation that she touched on this peace-making approach (and has continued to study it) in her remarks for the USH’s 2007 Annual Report. In it, she spelled out three ways to reach a shared pilgrimage and growth in service. They were, “first in reconciling relationship with ourselves, secondly in hospitable relationship with others, and thirdly in recognition and reverence for that which is greater than we are.”

Rev. BJ will be more fully explaining this topic in a four-week program that started on Wednesday October 3 at 7:30 PM at the Meeting House: “Nonviolent Communication: Towards an 8th UU Principle.” These will be interactive classes, reading and practicing together to discover the methods and philosophical base of Nonviolent Communication. - Kayla

Toward Aging Gracefully - October 14, 2007 Don't miss the "Toward Aging Gracefully," seminar at 1:00 PM in Fellowship Hall this Sunday, Oct. 14th. Bring a sandwich and any questions you might have about legal issues and aging.

Attorney Marcia L. Hess of one of Ct's premiere law firms specializing in Elder Law will present a program highlighting issues such as Estate Planning, Preservation of Assets, Social Security, Long Term Care, etc. Please note the speaker was changed since our earlier announcement. You will find Marcia is equally skilled in giving such talks.

Sustainable Living Discussed at October 16th Men’s Luncheon Group Meeting - All men are invited to attend the USH Men’s Luncheon Group meetings. The informal group meets at Carmen Anthony’s restaurant located on Route 44 in Avon. The meetings are on the third Tuesday of the month and they begin at noon. This October 16th, the meeting speaker is Tom Kemble. His topic is “Sustainable Living.” For more info please contact Chris McClurg at 860-563-9776 or wchrismc(at symbol)cox.net

Artist and Activist Holly Near in Concert - co-presented by The Unitarian Society of Hartford, and Love Makes A Family, Saturday, October 20, at 7:30 PM at the Unitarian Meeting House, 50 Bloomfield Avenue, Hartford, CT. It looks like it will be a sell out, so if you desire a ticked better act promptly! More information and ticket details.

And, while we are on the subject, if you own a van and would be willing to shuttle folks parking at the Village next door to the Meeting House before and after the program (about an hour at either end) please contact Nancy Mandly.

Photo Directory Correction - Please be advised that an error has been made in the 2007-2008 Photo Directory. The photos for Deborah Nardi and her partner Julie Smith have been placed in each other's listings in the directory (i.e. - Julie's photo is where Deborah's photo should be and vice versa).

My apologies to Deborah & Julie. This error has been corrected and will be reflected in the next printing of this edition should one be needed.

If you know of any other errors please contact me at your convenience (860.233.9898 or bmullen@ushartford.com)

Art News - October 21 through November 18 the Meeting House is host to another talented Farmington Valley Artist. Andi Thorne applies her watercolors to a variety of subjects. This exhibit focuses on a subject dear to New Englanders.

From the Adult Programs Sub-Council - Stop by the Registration Table in Fellowship Hall following the 9 and 11 AM services for a movie listing and, while there, check out the Book Cart. The Fall Programs Catalog is available on the web for additional information about the fall offerings.

Don't miss the Seminar "Toward Aging Gracefully," coming this Sunday, October 14, at 1:00 PM in Fellowship Hall (no registration required). Attorney Marcia L. Hess from one of CT's premiere law firms specializing in Elder Law will present a program highlighting issues such as Estate Planning, Preservation of Assets, Social Security, Long Term Care, etc. So, come and join the discussion. Bring a sandwich - dessert and beverages will be provided.

Traveling and Living in Ghana, Sunday, October 21, 1:00 - 2:00 PM in the Chapel. Denise Ackeifi, our Youth Director, traveled again in Ghana this summer. Come and see pictures of people and places, hear of her experiences, and find out about this English-speaking, largely Christian country.

Friday Dinner and Movie, November 9, will feature The Color Purple.

Caring Network -
Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others. William A. Ward
- You are the ears of the Caring Network. Diana Heymann is the Chair of the Caring Network. Please tell Diana (heydiana(at symbol)comcast.net) 860.461.0908, or call the office when you learn of any of our members enduring the stresses of life so we can reach out to those in need. - Offer your services. A wide range of community services are available to help you. Call InfoLine at 211.

Further Down The Road (About 30 Days Max)

Ministry Matters: Strengthening Lay & Professional Leadership - A program presented by the UU New England Conference - Saturday October 27, 2007 Beechwood Hotel, Worcester MA 8:30 AM to 5:00 PM ($90 per person). You can download the pdf brochure that is available on this web page.

Nobel laureates Praise Bold New Book By UU Evangelists: Historic Opportunity for UU Churches/Societies - Rev. Michael Dowd and his science writer wife, Connie Barlow, both UU's, are America's evolutionary evangelists. They have spoken in more than 250 UU
churches and fellowships over the past five years and were recently featured on
the cover of the UU World: p,36

Rev. Dowd's forthcoming book, "Thank God for Evolution!" has been endorsed by five Nobel Laureates and 120 other luminaries including prominent UU ministers: It was mentioned in the September 17th issue of Newsweek magazine even though media coverage will not begin in earnest until November. Dowd's publicist is scheduling him for
radio talk shows nearly every day for the next year as he and Connie tour
America's major cities:

Millions who have never heard a bout Unitarian Universalism will soon hear about us for the first time, as Dowd includes dozens of stories from his and his wife's experience in UU contexts throughout the book. He and Connie are
donating 100% of book royalties toward furthering the epic of evolution movement in and beyond the UUA.

"Thank God for Evolution!" will be available in bookstores on November 1st. However, Dowd's publisher, Council Oak Books, will be sending out pre-ordered copies the first week of October. These can be purchased for $15 each (40% off retail): (If Council Oak Books' website asks for a discount code, it is "TGFE40".)

Please spread the word. Let's help make this a bestseller and get the good word out to America and the world about Unitarian Universalism!

Italicized entries are non-USH events. - Please notify Brian Mullen (233.9897) of all additions or changes to the calendar. More general calendar information covering several months may be found here

A Matter of Opinion: (space for comment on USH issues from members and friends) - Editor retains the right to make minor changes – letters should be issue oriented)

September 26, 2007- Ebony Horsewomen Incorporated 2nd Annual Fall Festival” For more information: Tonya Durham, E-mail: ehwomen@aol.com (860)293-2914.
Ebony Horsewomen Inc. 2ND ANNUAL FALL FESTIVAL - The second annual "Ebony Horsewomen Inc. (EHI) Fall Festival" will delight and entertain all in attendance at this spectacular family event. The campus of the Ebony Horsewomen Equestrian Center, 337 Vine Street, Hartford, will be used to create a day of fun and excitement to kick off the Fall season.

Enjoy a horse drawn carriage ride through historic Keney Park, play a variety of fun and family friendly games, take a tour of EHI’s facility or just sit and enjoy the festive music provided by local artists. Whatever your pleasure, there will be plenty of fun to have at the Ebony Horsewomen 2nd Annual Fall Festival.

Traditional food for the Fall season will be available along with hotdogs, hamburgers and other festival food and beverages.
Vendors will be on hand selling trinkets and crafts.

This will be a spectacular day for all ages. Come and meet your community members and neighbors. Bring your appetite, bring your dancing shoes, bring your competitive spirit and come enjoy the 2nd Annual Ebony Horsewomen Inc. Fall Festival. The event will be held on Saturday October 13, 2007. The day will begin at 11:00 a.m. and will continue until 3 p.m. For additional information contact Tonya Durham at 860-293-2864.

Shared Parenting Works Best - (published in the Courant October 1st) The Sept. 25 article "Father Gets Custody In Marathon Divorce" [Connecticut section] illustrates an all-too-common problem with Connecticut divorces. Too often, divorcing parents effectively use the court system to gain sole control over the children.

Superior Court Judge Holly Abery-Wetstone is correct to point out that no one is the winner in these cases. In particular, the children are inevitably caught between the warring parents.

The judge was exactly on target when she said in July: "Mr. and Mrs. Tauck, it is going to be extraordinarily difficult for the two of you to walk out of this courtroom after all this time and effectively parent your children. I want you both to remember that children have two parents and need two parents. It takes two parents to raise a child."

Connecticut needs to do a much better job of implementing the 2002 recommendations of the Governor's Commission on Custody, Divorce and Children. In particular, parental responsibility plans that were enacted into law in 2005 need to be fully developed and required as a prerequisite to further litigation.

Presumed joint physical custody would further reduce conflict by removing the possibility of using the courts to gain control of the children. Model legislation already exists in other states promoting this plan. The best news about shared parenting is that mothers, fathers and children all win.

Isn't it time we see the absurdity in the status quo and insist on a change in the laws, the judiciary and supporting family services?

John Clapp,Chairman
Shared Parenting Council of Connecticut Inc., West Hartford

Did You Know? - Per household expense for health (employer, employee and out of pocket) care increased from $3,400 in 1972 to $8,300 in 2006

Nuts and Bolts: The member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association covenant to affirm and promote: the inherent worth and dignity of every person; justice, equity, and compassion in human relations; acceptance of one another and encouragement of spiritual growth in our congregations; a free and responsible search for truth and meaning; the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process, within our congregations and in society at large; the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all; respect for the interdependent web of all existence, of which we are a part.

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