USH-Enews November 12 , 2009 Print Only Edition

USH-Enews is a weekly email newsletter produced for members and friends of the Unitarian Society of Hartford. The USH web address is: http://www.ushartford.com/ Check at the end of this USH-Enews for information on submissions, subscriptions and escape from the mailing list or to find past issues of the weekly USH-Enews click here.

Office hours: Rev. Jamestone: Phone: 860 233-9897; Email: RevBJ@USHartford.com - Rev. BJ office hours by appointment.

Worshipping Together Since 1830
One Service 10:30 AM

Contributors take note. Next week's USH-Enews will be a two-week issue

On the third Sunday of the month come along at 10:20 to participate in Morning Songs and remember there will be a half hour Chapel Sing after coffee hour.

Sunday - 15 November - The Bahai Faith - A little known religion of Eastern origin, Bahai has distinctive similarities and differences from UUism, an exploration of which can help us to know ourselves a bit better.

Soup and conversation available after the service.

Music -

REflections on Children's Programming

Religious Education Classes

Spirit Play: The Two Sisters: A Thanksgiving Story
Second & Third Grade: Heart Talk: Gratitude
Fourth & Fifth Grade: Toolbox of Faith: Power
Sixth, Seventh & Eighth Grade: Judaism
Youth Group Activities: Soup Making

Gail M. Syring, DRE

From the Editor: Suggestions for Contributors.

This Week’s Feature Articles

Contributors take note. Next week's USH-Enews will be a two-week issue

Eliminate Unpaid Staff Leave
Fundraising Brainstorming Session
Minister's Discretionary Fund
Conor Lyman Testimonial
Experimental Dance Doing the Numbers
Come one, Come All
Sustenance
What is with the Wings?
Highlights of the Board Meeting 11/10
Board Votes on Covenant

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Financial Challenge Announced to Save Our Staff!

I am very excited to announce that a small group of generous (and anonymous) donors have presented a financial challenge to our congregation to eliminate the need to implement a two week unpaid leave for our staff over the winter. The donors have offered to give the congregation $5,000 if the congregation raises the same amount from at least 100 members and friends beginning immediately and ending on December 31, 2009. Raising a total of $10,000 will allow our staff to provide full worship, religious education, and pastoral services throughout February, will allow all USH programs and activities to continue uninterrupted, will keep the building open, and eliminates the need for additional fundraising through the “holiday letter.” If the congregation does not raise the $5,000, unfortunately the staff will be required to take a two week unpaid leave in the middle of February and all worship, educational, pastoral, and programming activities at USH will be cancelled as the building will be closed and all staff will be on leave. I, personally do not want that to happen and I think you will agree. I know we can raise the money we need.

Let’s take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to come together as a community to save our staff and tend to each other and our caring community. Please give generously to this effort by writing any sized check to “USH,” noting it is directed to “Save Our Staff” and giving it to Brian Mullen in the office. All size donations are welcome; there is no minimum and there is no maximum. As with other non-Stewardship fundraising activity, donations are not counted towards our annual pledges. We just need to receive $5,000 from at least 100 members and friends in order to raise $10,000. A 100% return on our money…now that’s a good investment!

Carolyn Cartland

Basket Raffle
To Support Our Staff
(See photo above)

All proceeds from this raffle will be used to reduce the need for an unpaid leave for staff this winter

Basket Contents include:
Two bottles of wine ($60)
Barnes and Noble gift card ($50)
Blockbuster gift card ($25)
Winter Hat and socks ($20)
Various food items and 2 mugs ($35)
Fleece throw ($20)
Knowing you are showing your support for our treasured staff (Priceless!)

Ticket Prices: One for $3, Two for $5
Winner to be announced December 6th

Fundraising Brainstorming Session - Do you have an interest in helping our congregation to find ways to fund the staff, the programs and worship that we all love? If so, read on.

The Stewardship Council invites all congregational members and friends who are interested in helping to brainstorm ideas for fundraising efforts to a meeting on Sunday, November 15th at noon in the library. We hope to generate ideas for eliminating the need for a staff unpaid leave this winter and, thinking long-term, find new ways to fund our budget in the future.

If you’re interested in helping, but cannot attend the meeting, please contact Charles Huntington, chair of Stewardship or Susan Kinney, Stewardship member. - Sue Kinney

Minister’s Discretionary Fund: 100% ROI! - Many thanks to those of you who made contribution to the minister’s discretionary fund on 11/1.

Rev BJ noted that this fund is resourced by an annual offering, plus donations made when she does a pastoral service or ritual for members, and the occasional gift. “The MDF is a good investment in USH,” Rev BJ, “and occasionally gives a 100% return on investment!”

“The new teal hymnal supplements were purchased last summer with your 2008 MDF offering. That contribution to our musical experience will be doubled, if 100 of you make an $18 donation to our “Friends of Music “ Fund to the office before December 1, supplying the name of someone you are remembering at this All Souls Day service (or anyone you’d like to honor with a holiday gift) so that a bookplate may be added to a new hymnal as a lasting memorial. (If you’d like a holiday card sent informing anyone of this donation in their name, let us know.)”

“As for the 2009 offering we have received, your generosity will be passed along to some person or program at USH for meeting a critical need, training leaders, or recognizing volunteers—a truly mutual fund, with no hidden fees or administrative costs, and no waiting period.!” - BJ

Conor Lyman Testimonial - Hello my name is Conor Lyman and for the past 14 years I have walked into church seeing the youth group sleep out in boxes and wondering when I would get my chance. Last night I finally got my chance at being homeless. This year everyone talked about how last night was an easy night; it was not freezing nor did it snow like in years past but I felt homeless.

For the past four weeks we have been putting off the sleep out because of rain and bad weather, but truly homeless people don’t have that option. The fact that we had to stay up all night to keep a fire going so that we would stay warm, felt homeless. Although we were outside on the lawn of USH, a friendly place, the city noises and safety concerns made it feel homeless. But for us the police gave us candy and conversation instead of harassment. We were not driven off of our campsite. The things that made our experience easier, the homeless don’t have.

The women and children of My Sisters’ Place are the lucky few who are picked to get a break. They now have basic necessities but they did not always have such. Unlike us, the women have been homeless for many nights, not just one. They had much harsher conditions. The money donated by you will go to helping the women and their children get back on their feet and get that second chance. My Sister’s Place provides a safe place to live, food, water, health care, help finding a job, and an address which provides them with a free education and social services.

Experimental Dance and Doing the Numbers - The current congregation which worships at the Unitarian Meeting House is never far from my mind. Maybe because it’s my job or maybe because it’s my faith, or maybe because the friends and family who fill my heart and dreams are far away. I don’t know whether this is a a good thing or a bad thing. I know it is so.

I am by turns, savoring some precious moment of encounter with one of you, or looking out at the horizon asking for signs, portents, clues, or ideas regarding the life of USH and my place in it. It’s not unlike the place that my family hold in my heart in that regard; I hope you won’t take that as being paternalistic, as that’s not how I mean it.

Lately I’ve been thinking about our finances , as we are at the tipping point of some significant re-fashioning of priorities, and this is a year we’re graced with having some space to plan how we’ll bring our expenses in line with our income.

Serious business.

Here are some things I hope that you are pondering with me.

How are we spending our money now? You can find our complete budget online.

What are the pros and cons of the congregation continuing to reside at 50 Bloomfield Ave?

(There’s a show on TV on Thursday night at 9 about modernist buildings in Hartford, and their current plight and power.) You can find a space usage report from 2004 the purpose of which was to examine building use and building capacity of the Meeting House, and to further generate options to address opportunities and concerns identified by this study. What are we obliged to do in order to be good stewards of this unique and beautiful house of worship?

Can we afford to maintain our current staff and other paid workers such as section leads? Can we creatively, caringly, compassionately, and openly talk about this together?

What are we doing here, in this building, with this staff, and what might we change for the good of our congregation and our faith in the next 10 years? I’ve been doing all kinds of mixing things up for several years now, as you may have noticed, in order to stir your thoughts on that question.

What good does it do to fully fund the UUA each year? What about the delayed maintenance of the building? Are we using our endowment the way that makes most sense? Who is ultimately responsible for being informed and daring to make such decisions?

I hope you’ll come on Dec 6 to our economic summit 2 and share your thoughts.

Somebody told me that I seem to be trying to turn the Meeting House into a community center and that that has never been part of our identity. I can’t vouch for the truth of either part of that statement at this moment. I have noticed that “We are a regional church” seems to translate to “We don’t’ spend much time just hanging out together at the Meeting House.”

So, when Nancy Blickenstaff came to me with an idea for her dance group to come and teach us some intergenerational and international dances, I decided that would be a neat way to try on the "community center" concept.

When you saw the ad, “Dance, Dance, Dance” what was your first thought? Can you imagine yourself and the people in your intimate circle of friends at the Meeting House being part of the group gathered for such an experience? What would need to happen such that when you saw such a program, your heart would jump for joy? What would need to happen such that you’d be willing to be slightly inconvenienced by such a late notice, and that you’d change your plans for Saturday without a moment’s hesitation?

I’m trying to figure out whether we need all the space we have, and if we don’t need it now, how can we change ourselves such that we DO need it, and then make some things happen at the Meeting House which further our mission of growing in spirit and growing in service?

What would it look like for you to "grow in spirit" to take on a vision of greatness and goodness in yourself? What would it look like to ‘grow in service’? Do you want to do whatever it is that comes to your mind when you imagine ‘growing in service’ or ‘growing in spirit’?

I love to think that you are going to find somebody with whom to talk about these questions. Maybe if you come this Saturday at 4 PM and stay a while, when it’s dinner time, we’ll order pizza and wine and chat together. -  Regards, Rev BJ

Come One, Come All! - Are you between the ages of 1 and 105? If so, there’s something for you … at the 32nd Annual Festival of the Season at the Meeting House on Saturday, December 5th.

Take a look at this schedule of Festival activities, decide when you want to join the party and then please, if you plan to attend the dinner, sign up for your potluck dish at the Registration Table during Coffee Hour on either November 22nd or 29th.

3:00 to 5:00 - Santa and Mrs. Claus will be there to greet you as you come in.

3:00 to 5:00 – Play the dreidel game in the lobby.

3:00 to 5:30 – Make a craft in one of the rooms off of the upstairs hallway. Next week’s Enews will tell you what crafts you can choose from at this year’s Festival.

3:00 to 5:00 - Coffee House with live entertainment in the Chapel. You’ll find out what the entertainment will be in next week’s Enews.

5:00 to 5:30 - Carols will be sung around the Meeting House led by a mystery director (Mattie will be in Boston attending her grandson’s 2nd birthday party). You’ll have to read next week’s Enews to find out who the mystery leader will be. (By the way, anybody of any age can join the carolers and there are no rehearsals!).

5:30 to 6:00 - Worship Moment in the Sanctuary led by BJ.

6:00 to 7:30 – Potluck Dinner in Fellowship Hall... Followed by our raucous “The 12 Days of Christmas” led by John Stowe.

The USH Holiday Tree, decorated by the Youth Group, will be up in the lobby with an opportunity for you to spread Holiday Cheer to the children who live next door to our Meeting House at The Village for Families & Children.

And don’t forget that there will be good music, good food and good friends at the Coffee House, which will be open in the Chapel at 3:00. So be sure to get to the festival in time to join the coffeehouse festivities.

Sustenance - “You will live longer and you will live happier if you dance, move, interact and touch each other,” Reverend BJ said during her Sunday, November 11 sermon on the core necessities of life.

She listed food, shelter, order, safety and comfort as items necessary to “keep body and soul together” and provide sustenance, although we don’t usually include “comfort” on that list.

Describing trips she and her son had made together, Reverend BJ suggested that packing can be a “spiritual exercise”-- what you decide to take leads you to consider and pay careful attention to what things your body needs to sustain life. She remembered one trip where her son’s backpack carried all the items he felt he needed for daily living and his three heavy suitcases were filled with science books.

We have a chance, Reverend BJ said, “to replenish for our journey, to decide what’s necessary.” She quoted from Marc David, described (by Google, what else?) as a visionary nutrition expert, author and teacher whose expertise is the psychology of eating and mind-body nutrition. He writes, “Food is not merely something we eat. It is a ceaseless reminder that we are mortal, earthbound, hungry and in need…With every morsel of food swallowed a voice says, I choose life. I choose to eat, for I yearn for something more.”

“We are lucky,” Reverend BJ concluded, “ that we stand on a firm foundation and deep in our hearts we are aware of the order that holds the universe together.”

Sunday’s music and readings, of course, added to the sermon’s topic. Let It Be a Dance has not only an upbeat, foot-tapping melody but also a dire warning: “ Without the dark, there is no light. If nothing’s wrong, then nothing’s right.” And from Responsive Reading 558, Isaiah’s The Fast That I Choose: “If you offer food to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted…you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” And from Hymn 321 (sung by Cantor Melissa Paul during the sermon and by the congregation as the closing hymn): “Here in the flesh is all that we can know, all beauty, all wonder, all the power.” - Kayla Costenoble

Highlights from the Board Meeting on November 10, 2009

At the Board of Director’s meeting on Tuesday, November 10, we conducted the following business:

Appointed Meredith Vasta as Secretary to the Board, replacing Fran Carnevale who resigned for personal reasons in October. Many thanks to Fran for her short and distinguished service to the Board and welcome, Meredith!
Voted to accept the offer of a financial challenge from a group of generous (and anonymous) donors for $5,000 to be matched by $5,000 from at least 100 members and friends by December 31, 2009. Raising a total of $10,000 will eliminate the need to implement a two week unpaid leave for our staff in February, suspend all worship, pastoral, educational, and programming activities, and close the building for two weeks in mid-February. See related story elsewhere.
Voted to accept a Board covenant. See related story elsewhere
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Discussed a variety of “key indicators” such as pledge results and trends, attendance, candles lit, etc. Will monitor and report results and trends to congregation periodically throughout the year. Decided to report weekly giving, attendance, and RE attendance weekly in Order of Service and in USH-Enews.
Reviewed agreement concerning “Friends of Music” fundraising. Specific pledges through November and proceeds from benefit concert in January will count towards effort to raise $6,000. “Friends of Music” has raised nearly $3,000 to date towards its $6,000 goal.
Consistent with the recent “organizational experiment,” discussed Council activities and role of Council Chair.
Our next Board meeting is Tuesday, December 8 at 7pm in the Library. All are welcome. - Carolyn Cartland, President
What’s With the Wings? - In the days when the Earth was new, there was a beautiful butterfly who was very sad…

In my Systematic Theology class this week, we were exploring the origin of evil in the universe. The professor, despite several attempts to return to the doctrine of creation that he intended to cover, puzzled aloud about our preoccupation with the theological ramifications of evil.
“Simply put,” I told him, “because we see evil every day it cannot be ignored.” With the incredible technological and communication advances that have created the possibility of a global community, there is the shadow side.
Multiple cable news stations provide 24 hour coverage of tragedies of every sort. How do we, and more importantly our children, filter the suffering of the world in such a way that we maintain hope for the future without becoming immune to the present? What can we do to preserve a sense of empowerment that will carry us into the world to effect what change we can?
I believe one small part of the answer is nurturing a belief in the magic of the human heart. Imagine a business meeting of any kind where the participants were unselfconscious about a small bit of whimsy that always lifts their spirits? Who among us does not have a cartoon or greeting card, a child’s drawing or piece of costume jewelry tucked away simply because of its power to remind us of what is precious?
These talismans are powerful reminders that beauty is ever present in the universe, and that painful circumstances of every kind will one day pass. Not everyone would choose a two foot sparkling wing span to express themselves, but my hope is that my wings will inspire you to share your personal magic with our community, however you are inspired to do so.

…and so the butterfly learned that we each have joy deep in our hearts, even when we have forgotten the dance that releases that joy into the world. - Gail M. Syring
Board Votes on Covenant - At the Board meeting on November 10, the Board voted unanimously to accept the following covenant as we do the work of the Unitarian Society of Hartford together.
Covenant for the USH Board of Directors
The USH Board of Directors covenants and affirms its commitment to the seven principles of Unitarian Universalism, to the USH mission and to the following:
We acknowledge that our work takes place in the context of a spiritual community, one that covenants every week that “love is the spirit of this church.” Therefore, we agree to work together in a loving, courteous, and nonjudgmental way. We will be intentionally accountable to one another and to the congregation as a whole, e.g. we will work within an orderly process, regularly communicate what we can and cannot do, be responsive to each other by providing updates and revisions to plans/expectations as needed, and model respectful behavior with each other.
We will conduct our work with transparency and at the same time with sensitivity and discretion; we will maintain confidentiality but we will not keep secrets. We will seek to work as a team and we will be compassionate and forgiving as individuals to ourselves and one another, assuming mutual good will and positive intentions.

Accepted and voted by the Board of Directors November 10, 2009

Things You Could Do for USH

Do you have a copy of "A Chosen Faith" you 'd be willing to donate to a lending library? These would be made available to folks attending BJ's bi-monthly course, prior to getting copies of their own. Please drop your donation off in the office - first desk on the right. - Thanks

What Else is Happening

Let it Be a Dance! - Nov 14, 4 to 6 PM, Fellowship Hall

“Always on Sunday,” a West Hartford international folk dance group invite us to join them in fun and footwork for this intergenerational event. Everyone 10 or over is invited to join the circle and to help create the lines as we enjoy each other’s company, ethnic music, and great fellowship.

Bring a snack, some hard/soft drinks, and let’s have some fun! You can watch folks of all ages tapping their feet to some simple rhythms, or you can be a toe tapper yourself.

The local dance club will be showing us some simple ethnic dances, maybe even from Transylvania, from whence we hail! Child care is available for toddlers and infants if you let Gail know by Friday! You can stay an hour, or hang out until dinner time and order pizza to enjoy with Rev BJ.

PS-There will be an opportunity for you to make a donation to our USH “Friends of Music Fund” if you
like!

Great News! The Green Sanctuary Candidacy Application has been accepted! We now have a year to finish our Action Plan and become a certified Green Sanctuary. Check out the bulletin board at the bottom of the stairs on the way to Fellowship Hall for more info.

Our Give and Take Magazine Rack (under the bulletin board) will be up soon. You'll be able to drop off and pick up magazines - saving trees and money.

GHICEJ's Health Care Task Force - We invite you to a conversation with Simsbury UCC, First Church of the Living God and New Hope church on November 30 at 6:30 PM at Immanuel Church, on the corner of Woodland & Farmington in Hartford.

This is an opportunity to share & to listen to stories that might be different from yours to increase understanding and gather recommendations of change and improvement to those in the health care system and legislators. Through a better understanding of the views and experiences of members of its congregations, GHICEJ will offer a collective response by the end of January.

We hope for a good turn-out. Questions to Joan Kemble t-jkemble(at symbol)cox.net

Financial results through October and related notes have been posted here.

Adult Programs - The fall programs are winding down and it's not too early to think about possible programs to offer in the winter/spring term. Perhaps you or someone you know has an idea for a course, workshop, or Sunday afternoon program that you would like to see included.

To obtain a Program Proposal Form, you may go here. From the Spiritual Life pull down menu (on the left side of the home page), click on Adult Programs. In the first paragraph, click on download the form in Microsoft Word. The form is also available at the USH office. Please attach a detailed paragraph in Microsoft Word (if possible) about the program to the completed Proposal Form that can be used for promotion. Please email the completed Proposal to Janice Newton or Nancy Reed no later than Monday, January 4 so that your proposed program can be reviewed and included with the other 2010 Winter/Spring Programs for Adults and Families..

People's Action for Clean Energy(PACE): Clean Energy Expo, Environmental Awards night and discussion

When: Saturday, November 21, 2009
Where: Unitarian Society of Hartford 50 Bloomfield Avenue, Hartford When: Main program begins at 7PM. Come early for exhibits and snacks

Admission is free to the public. Donations are welcome.

4:00 - 5:30 PM Film "Meltdown" (FX Cable)
5:00 - 7:00 PM EXHIBITS AND DINNER
Solar and other clean energy companies
Environmental Exhibits
Little City Pizza; homemade desserts; coffee
7:00 PM Annual Meeting
7:15 PM AWARDS
Lifetime Achievement:
Eric Epstein - Three Mile Island Alert
Staff - Beyond Nuclear
Legislative:
Rep. Vickie Nardello; Rep. Sean Williams, Rep. Matthew Lesser, Lonnie Reed and Elizabeth Esty
Organization:
Chris Phelps - Environment Connecticut
Media:
Adam Ney - Buildingctgreen.com
8:00 PM "THE TRUTH ABOUT NUCLEAR POWER"
Eric Epstein - Three Mile Island Alert
Cindy Folkers, Kevin Kamps, Paul Gunter, Linda Gunter - Beyond Nuclear

More information about the Nov. 21 event may be found at pace-cleanenergy.com. INFORMATION: (860) 693-4813 or www.pace-cleanenergy.org

Caring Network - When I was born I was so surprised I did not talk for a year and a half. - Gracie Allen - If you know of any member experiencing some difficulty, please contact Diana Heymann, Chair of the Caring Network heydiana(at symbol) comcast.net 860.461.0908 or call the office so we can provide some assistance. A wide range of community services is also available to those in need by calling InfoLine at 211. Please contact Diana if you are able to volunteer your services.

Further Down The Road (About 30 Days)

Movie and Commentary - A Road to Mecca With Yahya Michot and Herb Brockman Wednesday, December 2, Hartford Seminary 6:30 PM, Free More

Social Justice Journeys (From the UUA) And from USH

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Green Topics - Green Sanctuary Sub-Council - running a power lawn mower for 1 hour produces as much pollution as driving a car for 350 miles

On the Calendar

Please notify Brian Mullen of all additions or changes to the calendar. Follow this link to all our scheduled events

External Events and Educational Notes

Surviving the Holidays: Navigating Family Conflict
Presented by Joe Brummer

December 12, 2009 and December 13, 2009 at Community Mediation, Inc. in New Haven, CT

What is it about the holiday season that brings out the worst in family conflicts? Is it possible to have a holiday without screaming, pouting and fighting? The answer is YES! This two-day intensive workshop in Nonviolent Communication is designed to help participants learn new ways of dealing with family conflicts.

Participants in this workshop will:

Explore the roots of conflict and how we can respond to those we love with compassion rather than anger or sarcasm;

Learn to clearly express your needs in a way your family will hear;

Create more intimacy in your relationships;

Gain concrete skills to navigate holiday gatherings with ease and joy.

Day 1: (9am-4pm) Participants will learn the basics of Nonviolent Communication using their own family conflicts. Through lecture, interactive exercises, role plays and videos, participants will learn to express what is alive in them honestly without the use of guilt, shame or sarcasm. They will also learn to respond to others in ways that de-escalate conflict rather than fuel the fire.

Day 2: (9am-2pm) Participants will learn to leave behind the enemy images of family members that lead to conflicts. They will practice empathetic listening to hear what is alive in others while still remaining true to themselves. Through exercises, games and discussion participants will explore using NVC to communicate in ways that bring the joy back to the holidays.

About the presenter: Twice the victim of violent crimes, Joe Brummer has spent years exploring why people commit acts of violence against others. He has studied nonviolence, conflict resolution and clocked hundreds of hours at the mediation table. He has worked with the Institute for the Study and Practice of Nonviolence to bring nonviolence to youth in schools, studied with the Community Mediation Center of RI and serves on their Juvenile Restorative Justice Advisory Board. In the winter of 2008, Joe attended the International Intensive Training on Nonviolent Communication with Marshall Rosenberg. Joe is also the Connecticut representative for New England NVC. You can learn more about Joe at www.speakcompassion.com

Registration: Registration is open to the public. Seating is limited. The requested fee for both days is $140.00. The requested fee for just day 1 is 99.00. Those with advanced NVC skills or have attended previous NVC Workshops may attend day 2 only for a requested fee of $49.00. Training fee includes lunch and materials.

Location: 32 Elm Street, New Haven, CT (free parking is available in lot)

To register online: www.community-mediation.org or call: (203) 782-3500

Gail M. Syring
Director of Religious Education
Unitarian Society of Hartford

An Evening of Opera Arias, Sunday December 6th, Beth El Temple, West Hartford More

Craft and Food Holiday Fair 11/21 Our friends at Unitarian Universalist Society: East in Manchester are sending a special invitation to their annual Craft & Food Holiday Fair on Saturday Nov. 21, 9 AM - 3 PM More

A Matter of Opinion