USH-Enews for December 6, 2007 Print Only Edition

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Singing the Twelve Days of Christmas with acting by various groups at the FOS potluck Dinner More

The USH-Enews is a weekly email newsletter produced for members and friends of the Unitarian Society of Hartford. The USH web address is: http://www.ushartford.com/ Check at the end of this USH-Enews for information on submissions, subscriptions and escape from the mailing list. And, to read the monthly Meetinghouse Messenger (newsletter) on line, or past issues of the weekly USH-Enews click here.

Office hours: M-F 9-3 (excluding W 10 -11); Rev. Jamestone: Phone: 860 233-9897; Email: RevBJ@USHartford.com - Rev. BJ office hours: Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday by appointment.

Randall Thompson’s Peaceable Kingdom - will be the featured work when the Unitarian Society of Hartford and the Universalist Church of West Hartford combine their choirs for services on Dec 9 and Dec 16, 2007. The services on 12/9 will be at USH on Bloomfield Ave in Hartford at 9 and 11 AM. On 12/16 they will be held at the Universalist Church at 433 Fern St. in West Hartford at 9 and 11 AM. Most Interesting Additional Information

REflections on Children's Programming
Intergenerational Service
Sunday, December 23rd will be an intergenerational service, and therefore there will be no religious education classes. Please join us for a Christmas celebration.

Arts Sunday
Sunday, December 30th will be an Arts Sunday, when all the children in attendance will participate in a multiage art project. Join the RE Family as we Make Our Own Calendars in the Spirit Play classroom after the Time for All Ages. Individual classes will not meet separately.

From the Editor: This is an especially challenging issue because of all the photographs, something you readers have requested. Many photos do not make it into the USH-Enews because of space limitations. If you have an interest in a photo shown or one that might not have been selected, ask the editor or Anne Bailey for a copy of one that might be of interest to you. Our scrap pile is your resource. - DCN

Purple Dots - At the charge of the Council on Spiritual Life that she create a congregation wide spiritual practice of gratitude for our society and its many gifts to us as persons, Rev BJ has instituted our "Peaceful Purple Gratitude Game!"

We've received purple dots, with instructions to stick one on something at the Meeting House and the remainder on things at home, where we are likely to see them repeatedly.

Each time we see a dot in coming weeks, we are instructed to remember something we appreciate about our beloved community at the Meeting House, and to mentally say, thank you. It would be a further blessing to actually tell someone that thing for which you are thankful.

We will soon receive purple wrist reminders as well, with invitation that we wear them during December. Each time we need to express a concern or complaint about something at our society, the bracelet reminds us to speak two words of thanks for every one word of concern or complaint--AND if we are successful, we switch the bracelet to the other arm!

Game on, everyone! Our Spiritual Life Council is confident that this practice will strengthen our spiritual commitment to USH and to each other, as well as developing our gratitude "heart muscle" in general! - BJ

Making a Festival of the Season - The interesting thing about a traditional event is that while it may occur each year, the workers - performers and the audience are always changing. Here we describe some of the things that made this year’s FOS an outstanding success. There were about 170 participants at the potluck dinner as well as others who may have attended only portions of events including crafts, Coffee House and Worship Service.

For those few who might not know, FOS is a multigenerational USH afternoon and evening event with crafts for young and old, coffee house music, ambulatory caroling, refreshments, and a short worship service followed by a potluck dinner. In short, something for everyone young and old as the holiday season “begins.” You probably attended or know a good deal about the event from prior USH-Enews items.

What you may not know about is the extent of behind the scenes preparation. It begins with arranging of room contents for the day’s events. This started prior to Friday when Peter Magistri and Robert Gavin set up numerous tables and chairs in Fellowship Hall and lugged the heavy upholstered chairs from the Library, Servetus and other locations to the Sanctuary substituting folding chairs in their place, chairs less likely to be harmed by craft materials including frosting and glue.

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Here they are. By Friday evening the setup crew arrived, their job to put down tarps over the rugs in various rooms used for crafts, and distribute the materials for making drums, wreathes, marble paintings, decorated cookies, and bead ornaments. In addition, the areas for dreidel spinning and and the giving tree were arranged for Santa’s comfort. This crew included John Bengtson, Sheryl and Cyanara Cooper-Sivey, Helen David, Peter and Deb Meny and the Newtons. There was a good deal of fetching and carrying as the craft ingredients where shuffled from cars and cabinets to assigned craft rooms.

In the background planning was continuous. Diane Cadrain, for example, arranged supervision for various craft activities.

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On Saturday the Graham Cracker houses were assembled under the direction of Leona Page, Olivia Meny, Lucia Rubin-Cadrain, Judy Dayner and Linda Ericson-Ebel.

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Candy cane/wreath decorations were constructed under the direction of Heather Ferguson-Hull and Marion Kelliher.

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Drums were constructed with Gail Syring and Nancy Nelson making helpful suggestions to construction workers.

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Jim, Ellie Venneman and Teresa Pelham worked the cookie decorating tables Jim having cooked the cookie raw material well in advance.

The "Building a Better World Banner" proceeded under the direction of Diane Cadrain, Kelly Lyman, and Maggie Greene.

This, as you would guess, is only part of the story. Under the general leadership Patrice Fitzgerald, for days in advance assigned folks spent time rounding up the “stuff” for use. The FOS email listserv buzzed with activity reporting individual’s excursions to locate and purchase (How are we going to finance this?) ingredients for these activities. Your editor for example, found an assembly line on Thanksgiving day in the Newton kitchen filling sandwich bags with assorted candies for use in decorating graham cracker houses. There were pounds and pounds of “frosting” created in advance of its use.

While all this activity was under way among the potluck and craft workers, a parallel and no less arduous preparation had occurred for the Coffee House entertainment in the Chapel, an activity especially attractive to unassigned adults and music lovers.

Mattie and Patrice arranged continuous music presentation including volunteers from the choir.

These musical experiences included recorder duets by Mattie and Nat Woodruff, Madrigals and Seasonal Choral arrangements, Patrice singing Broadway showstoppers and a community sing with Sid Garvais on the Yamaha. All this while Helen David assisted by Nina Elgo set a table of delectable goodies at the back including coffee, and nibbles of various sorts with one commonality, they all tasted very, very good.

Down in Fellowship Hall the tables had been covered with red and green, centerpieces added, a gazillion packages of plastic ware distributed and areas established to hold drinks and desserts. The kitchen crew included Betty Palmer, Ann Farmer, Fran Oatess, Randi Wuertz and Janice Newton.

BJ assisted by Gail Syring, showing remarkable flexibility, a high degree of planning, and mastery of the Worship Moment, delivered an excellent service to what might be thought of as a sugar-high twitching audience. They sang Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Children’s message Sunday), O Christmas Tree, and the Little Drummer Boy interspersed with short messages and a star ritual (Where’d you put the stars?). The audience was fully involved and participated in the service with rapt attention and high spirits.

Promptly at 6 PM the group descended from Worship Moment down into Fellowship Hall to find the hams and turkey cooked and ready, in addition there were recently delivered potluck contributions accompanied by fresh cider, water, coffee, and hot chocolate. It was, in short, a happy feast.

After dessert, Nora Binnin and Dan Wuertz were pressed into service to lead the traditional The Twelve Days of Christmas singing with an audience knowing just what to do with the day-gift assigned to their tables.

Stop, wait, what about the mess in every room! Over a hundred chairs to be moved back where they came from, tables to be cleaned and put away, tarps to be removed, dishes, garbage, decorations – well, you get the picture.

Many volunteers assisted in putting away the tables and chairs, the kitchen crew with the splendid addition of the Huntingtons attacked the mess Fellowship Hall mess while the youth group, bless their energy and strength, sprang into action one floor above to assist the adults in putting the rooms back in proper order and packing up the craft leftovers for use another year.

It is impossible to write an article like this without remembering every few minutes somebody else who contributed. Nina Binin made cookie frosting, Brian produced the programs, Bob and Kerry White aka Mr. and Mrs. Claus were busy, the AP crew sold tickets and on and on. If you were not mentioned consider it a mistake and mentally add your name to those mentioned in the article, and you are thanked!

As this is being written a post FOS meeting is being scheduled to consider the financial issues associated with production of the event. Perhaps half of the expenses are offset by the tickets sales for the potluck dinner. Remaining costs must be covered through the budget. To what degree should such an event be self-supporting?

Next year we will again need to fill the worker ranks. Be among the producers of FOS-08 by adding your name to the volunteers for next year's production when you have an opportunity. You are obviously needed!

And, that, as they say, is the rest of the story – DCN (various photos by Anne Bailey and David Newton)

Unexpected Moments That Change Your Life - There are moments when we allow other persons to have an impact on us,” Dr. Al Herzog told the congregation during his December 2 sermon. A longtime member of the USH, Al’s formal work is as a psychiatrist, but he is also known to many of us as the man-to-go-to for referrals for specific medical problems.

There is “enormous transformative power of these moments,” he said, and they can’t be completely explained rationally. “They are spiritual moments.” Al related three such moments in his own life.

The first occurred in 1946 when he was five and a half. He lived with his war-widow mother in Germany. He had done something wrong and was prepared for his usual physical punishment. Instead, his mother sat him down and said she was not going to hit him again, and that from now on they would sit down and talk about each bad thing he did. Much later in his life Al laughingly told his mother, “It’s all your fault I’m becoming a shrink.”

Then Al and his mother came to the U.S. One day when he and his stepfather were working on a dairy farm, the owner, a gentleman farmer who sometimes worked with the help, asked, “What do you want to be some day?” Al said he wanted to go to college, but the owner went beyond that and told Al he saw him as a doctor or a lawyer. At that point, Al explained, “my self esteem went high” and he told himself he could do it. This was a “quiet and powerful moment, but also gravity-defying.”

Moment number three came in the early 1980’s, and it began right here on a Sunday at the Meeting House. Al was in charge of one of the January series (a set of guest lectures on a particular theme) and his guest speaker was an African-American UU minister (not an easy thing to find in those days, Al reminded the congregation). Al thought all was well planned until then-minister Nat Lauriat told him the service was too long and he would have to cut our a reading Al really loved.

He did it, of course. But later, when his stepfather asked him why he seemed bothered, he told him what had happened to the service. His stepfather said, “You have to learn to forgive and move on.” These words made Al go way beyond what had happened at church as he realized he had never really accepted his stepfather. After that, they became good friends and Al saw him a couple of days before he died. At that time, he kissed him for the first time and “really meant it.”

Note: Rev. Jamestone sat with the congregation during the service, EXCEPT for her testimonial that began the service. During her enthusiastic testimonial, she explained the “Peaceful Purple Gratitude Game.” Each member was given a sheet of sticky purple dots as they entered the Sanctuary. Each member was asked to put one somewhere in the Meeting House, then take the rest home and stick them somewhere to “remember something blessed in your life.” - Kayla Costenoble (Editor's note. Al's sermon will be posted on the web subsequently.)

Congratulations - to Margaret Leicach on the birth of her new grandson and to Mattie and Walter Banzhaf on their new grandparent status - Eli Theodore Banzaert was born at 6:30 AM on Wed. Dec. 5th. He was 8 lbs. 8 oz.

Women’s Alliance Annual Holiday Bake Sale - Sunday December 9 in Fellowship Hall. More

Holiday Fun - sponsored by the UAMW: Thursday, December 13 12:00 noon wine and cheese; 12:30 luncheon. More

Spirituality Retreat Planned - Are you yearning for "A Place for Tranquility" for your spirit and soul?

Then reserve your spot today for the 2008 Spirituality Retreat in Ivoryton, Connecticut from 5:00 PM Friday evening, January 18th through 3:00 PM Saturday. This year's bonus: we can enjoy a second night FREE!

Information sheets are located in the office and throughout the Meeting House. Watch for more details in this month's USH-Enews and Sunday bulletins. - Deborah Meny

Movie - (Sign up not later than Sunday 9 December) Hi, Dinner and Movie Fans, From the New York Times review of "A Constant Gardener" ~ "This is a supremely well-executed piece of popular entertainment that is likely to linger in your mind and may even trouble your conscience, which is only proper, since the theme of the film, as of Mr. le Carré's novel, is the uneasy, divided conscience of the liberal West."

We'll show this thriller on Friday, December 14, with snacks at 5:30, dinner at 6, film at 7 (on our new magnificent large screen TV), with discussion afterwards led by Kathie Ferguson, who describes it as "a thought-provoking film, worthy of discussion."

Dinner will feature a fish entree; a vegetarian option will be available if you request when making your reservation. Reserve by calling the USH office at 233-9897 or in person during coffee hour at the Adult Programs Registration table. Please reserve by Monday, December 10.

Anyone with some extra time to help set-up (about 5 PM) will be gladly welcomed!
See ya at the movies!

A Community Discussion on Sheff - The Greater Hartford Interfaith Coalition for Equity and Justice (GHICEJ) and the Connecticut Coalition for Achievement Now (ConnCAN) invite the public to attend a community discussion on “SHEFF: WHAT’S IN IT FOR HARTFORD PARENTS?” a community discussion to be held December 11th at 7:00 PM to 8:30 at United Methodist Church, located at 571 Farmington Avenue in Hartford. More

Christmas Eve Candlelight Service - Please join us in the Chapel on December 24th at 10 PM for a reverential, contemplative Christmas Eve service. Candlelight, participatory traditional carol singing, and the Christmas story will complete this lovely worship. In lieu of a monetary offering, please bring a nonperishable food item to donate to the Horace Bushnell Food Pantry.

Holiday Poinsettias - As is our custom, we will don our chancel with poinsettias for our holiday services on December 23. Many of these plants will be delivered to members of our community who are unable to come to the Meeting House.

You may sponsor a plant for this purpose, or for your own use! Place a check in the offering basket, or send to the office, for $10 per plant payable to “USH” and clearly marked “POINS.” Let us know if you plan to personally pick up your plant following the 11:00 AM service on the 23rd and we will put your name on it! - Rosie

The Giving Tree - welcomes hats and mittens and GIFTS, oh my! This year you will find WISHES on the tree. Please take one or more and return the ornament with your unwrapped gift by December 16th. These gifts of love will be delivered by Traci Hardison, Misha Hardison, and Eric Gatlin to My Sister's Place, a shelter for battered women and their children in Hartford.

Is There a New Baby in Your Circle? - In recognition of the holiness of every child, names of new babies born this year into our community will be read aloud during the 4:00 PM Christmas Eve service on December 24. Please send the names of those 2007 babies precious to you and your family to Gail Syring at dre@ushartford.com, or call 233-9897 and leave the name (and spelling) at the office.

From the Adult Programs Sub-Council: It is not too late to sign up for the Friday Dinner and Movie on December 14 (see above).

During this holiday season you may want to take a look at the interesting books for purchase at the Adult Programs Book Cart. Among the offerings are:

The Circle of Simplicity by Andrew Cecile.

Collected Meditations: Gifts of Life, Patricia Frevert, Ed.

Understanding the Bible by John Buehrens.

Hartford Unitarians 1844-1994 by Freeman Meyer.

Ember Days will be celebrated," Wednesday, December 19, 12:00 - 2:00 PM, Friday and Saturday, December 21, 22, 6:00 - 8:00 PM. Led by Rev. Jamestone, this second of four seasonal observances will include spiritual exercises and time for personal introspection in silence. Come to any or all of the sessions. No registration needed.

Caring Network - Joanne Orlando is scheduled for total knee replacement surgery on December 6th at Hartford Hospital. Will be there about three days and then transferred to McLean Convalescent Center for another five. Help the Caring Network by sending along a card. Home address is in the Directory.

You are the ears of the Caring Network. Diana Heymann is the Chair of the Caring Network. Please tell Diana (heydiana(at symbol)comcast.net) 860.461.0908, or call the office when you learn of any of our members enduring the stresses of life so we can reach out to those in need. - Offer your services. A wide range of community services are available to help you. Call InfoLine at 211.

On the Calendar

Thursday, December 6
9:00 am Music Rehearsal, Sanctuary
9:30 am International Women’s Circle, Fellowship Hall
7:00 pm NVC I practice group, David

Friday, December 7
6:00 pm Welcoming Congregation Sub-council, Library

Saturday, December 8
10:00 am Rental, Chapel
Evening Circle Dinners, var. sites

Sunday, December 9
8:00 am Music Rehearsal, Sanctuary
9:00 am WORSHIP SERVICE, SANCTUARY
10:00 am Coffee Hour, Fellowship Hall
10:00 am Building and Grounds, Murray
10:00 am Comfort Shawl, Lower Lobby
10:00 am Youth Choir, Chapel
10:30 am Children’s Choir, Chapel
11:00 am WORSHIP SERVICE, SANCTUARY
12:00 pm Coffee Hour, Fellowship Hall
3:00 pm Rental, Chapel

Monday, December 10
6:30 pm Survivors of Incest Anonymous, Fuller
7:00 pm Artist’s Way, Servetus
7:00 pm SGM Creativity, Murray

Tuesday, December 11
6:00 pm Caring Network, Servetus
6:30 pm Board of Directors, Library
8:00 pm AA, Fellowship Hall

Wednesday, December 12
6:00 pm Dharma Gathering, Emerson
7:30 pm Choir rehearsal, Fern St Universalist Church
7:30 pm NVC I practice group, Emerson

Thursday, December 13
11:00 am Unitarian Alliance Ministry to Women, Library
7:00 pm NVC I practice group, David
7:30 pm Rental, Chapel

Friday, December 14
5:00 pm UHa parking lot usage
5:30 pm Dinner and Movie, The Constant Gardener, Fellowship Hall

Sunday, December 16
8:00 am Music Rehearsal, Chapel
9:00 am WORSHIP SERVICE, CHAPEL
10:00 am Coffee Hour, Fellowship Hall
10:00 am Disabilities Sub-council, Library
11:00 am WORSHIP SERVICE, SANCTUARY
12:00 pm Coffee Hour, Fellowship Hall
3:00 pm Rental, Chapel, then Fellowship Hall

Italicized entries are non-USH events. - Please notify Brian Mullen (233.9897) of all additions or changes to the calendar. More general calendar information covering several months may be found here

Further Down The Road (About 30 Days)

Re- Scheduled Program: Denise Ackeifi on Traveling and Living in Ghana - 1 PM, Sunday, January 20, 2008 - Ghana is a developing country at the brink of change. Come see pictures and hear Denise's story of her travels and life in this West African nation. Her joys include seeing elephants and baboons in the wild, and experiencing the dungeons of the African slave trade. Her troubles include negotiating social and cultural norms and being arrested by a corrupt police force.

No advance registration required; no fee. You can bring a sandwich or snack to eat after service, then attend Denise's illustrated talk in the Chapel at 1PM.

If you don't know Denise, she's our Youth Group Director who teaches high school in her off hours; her daughter is currently attending college in Ghana. She has made numerous trips to Ghana, and will concentrate on her most recent trip, last summer. More

A Matter of Opinion: (space for comment on USH issues from members and friends) - Editor retains the right to make minor changes – letters should be issue oriented)

BJ's emotional and thought provoking sermon celebrating Veteran’s Day fell right after an event in our family with which we are currently struggling. We ask members of our faith community for their opinion on this issue and how they have resolved this or similar issues in their own families.

As background, we need to explain that both of our dad's were in the military and Liz’s dad, Sam, had an extensive gun collection that he loved to show off to our boys when he was alive. One of the most precious gifts that Sam gave to our boys were his stories, many of which were about his service in WWII.

Against our better judgment, we allowed Dave to have his birthday party this year at Laser Quest where they run around in the dark and shoot each other with lasers. They love it. We had let Ben have one party there so felt compelled to allow David. We disagree with the guns as well as the price - but gave in.

Subsequently, one of the kids gave David a set of laser guns as a gift - an at home version if you will. We have not allowed any form of toy gun - save for the occasional water gun, which doesn't seem to bother us - in the house.

Do we discreetly return the toys to the store and let Dave pick out something else, or in the spirit of not making them forbidden fruit, do we let him have them?

The boys did find some cap guns at Liz’s dad's house when we were cleaning out and after 20 minutes she took them back and threw them away. Liz was disgusted by their behavior with them.

It seems hypocritical to say OK to the party but not the at home version. We can't seem to prevent them from playing war as anything in the garage or woods (a stick, a plastic oar) becomes a gun anyway. If we let them have these toys will the novelty wear off as with anything else and will they just get lost in the woods?

Comments should be sent to the editor, dcnewton@ushartford.com and all received will be sent on to the Garmise Family. Some may appear in this space.

In Celebration & Gratitude - Many thanks to Traci and Misha Hardison and Eric Gatlin for providing our congregation's Christmas tree and coordinating The Giving Tree project to support My Sister's Place. - Gail M. Syring

Did You Know? - Olympia Brown was the first ordained Universalist woman minister 1863